SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 7:23pm
Not usually but I do go on to research things and if I have nothing to do, I will check out my websites. I can't go on just to go on all day long, there has to be a reason. I am not going to lie and say I have never done it because it is mostly for e-mail reasons.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 7:24pm

The 23rd-was at work, just like I said.

The rest were on my lunchhour AT HOME from 12-1.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 7:26pm
So what makes you think he'd clean "the right way" if he sah?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 7:28pm
I am not giving them an excuse. I just don't believe that the person who works out of the home should have to come home and start doing full jobs that the other one should and could have been doing all day.
I NEVER said my dh did nothing, he just has different ideas on when things should be done and I am the total opposite. I want things done now and don't want to wait for anyone else to do them. I was the worst when I was pregnant because he did all the laundry because I could not bring it downstairs and he is the "later", "in a minute" kind of person and it drove me crazy!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 7:30pm
He probably wouldn't right away but just like now, when he does something for me and I want it a different way, I show him and he usually-lol! gets it right the next time!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 7:30pm
and how would that change if he were a SAHD?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 7:34pm
You are failing to take into consideration differing circumstances.Not all sahps have the same level of responsibility. I homeschool my kids which is like a fulltime job(I do get summers "off" though.) I do not expect dh to pitch in around the house, but I don't feel as if I would be expecting too much if I did.Some sahps have several very young children which makes cleaning the house more challenging. Houses vary in size, etc. There are a variety of circumstances that make your black and white pov way off base.Some husbands like yours work 9-5 jobs, why should they get to take it easy while their wives sah or woh have to continue to work?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 7:41pm

Very true. There are many different circumstances and I do understand that. My dh does have a longer day than me though. He gets up at 5:30am-leaves the house at 6am-starts work at 7am-gets off at 4pm-gets home at 5pm. I leave at 8:20 and get home at 5:20pm.

I really think it depends on the ages of the children, how many and if there is any high maintenance children. My dd is ADHD so she has always been very hyper. She is like 3 children in 1. My son is not so you can reason with him more, most of the time as he is 2 1/2-lol!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 7:47pm
I wouldn't really worry about that because we can't live on one salary. We both make the same amount of money.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 8:04pm

Well, IMO, parenting involves a lot more than cleaning and cooking. I actually read, interact, play and talk with my children.

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever that my dh could not help out. Now that we both work, he helps even more.

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