SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:25pm

>>I don't have a nanny, but I can still see the difference here. The nanny probably picks up what the kids mess up, or ensures that they do, but she's not cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting, mopping, and all that stuff needs to be done just as often as when you're a SAHM if your kids are in the house all day with a nanny.<<

it depends on the nanny really. some do more cleaning than others.

that said, if the kids mess up the bathrooms, then the nanny will clean the bathroom. if they're messing up the floors, they'll clean the floors. maybe not mop and scrub, but it won't be a pig stye either. picking up as you go (when feasable) is the best way to keep a house clean, the serious scrubbing and down and dirty cleaning can be relagated to once or twice a week, depending on how big of a slob you are ;)

either way, its not the WOHP who is doing it, its the nanny. the WOHP is coming home to a house that is pretty much the way it was when they left for work. (unless they have a really good, or really bad nanny).

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:26pm
Best of luck to you. Hopefully you can work things out. It is sooo unhealthy for children to live with parents who are only together for the sake of the kids. One of my gf's at work went through this and they are still married even though they basically can't stand each other!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:36pm

the way you posted made me think that was all you were serving. if thats not the case, i apologize. (and no, i didn't catch the string cheese as an extreme example...you never know - people do do that.)

but i got the impression that when your kids went through a food phase then you'd let them eat whatever it was they craved and didn't bother giving them anything else.

and no, string cheese may be edible, but its no more "real food" than a hot dog. its a fun treat, but it aint "real food" (BTW most string cheese has more chemicals than cheese in it)

>>"three nutritious, organic, home-cooked, FDA-certified, pyramid-conscious, recommended daily allowance of all known vitamins and minerals meals a day (plus snacks)" OR a junk-food filled diet consisting mainly of Ho-Ho's, Jolt cola, pork rinds and Sour Patch Kids.<<

exagerate much? i said i cook three square meals a day. you jumped on that like i was way over doing it. i have never even hinted that it had to be all of the above. just that a diet needs to be balanced, healthy and nutritous. and yes, three times a day.

i haven't looked at a food pyramid in years. i have however looked at the nutrition content of foods very closely as both myself and my daughter have food allergies taht prevent us from eating from all of the food groups. i'm also hypoglycemic so i have to be VERY aware of what i eat, and make sure i get everything i need, and little of what i don't. otherwise i'll pass out on a reguilar basis and eventualy end up with type 2 diabetes.

its got nothing to do with being a new mother. it has everything to do with being aware of what i eat (and consequently what my family eats) because i HAVE to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:41pm

>>Feeding one's family healthfully just isn't that hard. I've been doing it for over 20 years. <<

i never said it was hard. i said it was my responsability. but, the point i was making (which seems to have gotten lost) is that someone who cooks three times a day will have more work to do than someone who cooks once a day. (prep, cooking, clean upx3 = more than prep cooking, clean up x1...simple math).

its not an insult to anyone, its a simple fact. i was talking about how different families have different situations which make more or less work for the parent(s).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:43pm

well, its obvious you didn't read the entire conversation betwen hazeleyes and i.

try going back and re reading it and YOU might learn something.

i was talking about individual situations that families have which make more or less work for families. it wasn't all about cooking, but since you didn't read it, i'm sure you wouldn't have understood that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:49pm
Totally depends on the ages of the children. If I were a SAHM I would have hours of free time every day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:50pm
hey i can cook, i never said i could spell LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:50pm
Right, but during their naps you call that downtime? When my children napped is when I did the household chores. I would mop, dust, clean up the dishes, etc. I used the majority of the time that they napped to get my chores done. Now my children don't nap. However I was lucky when they did they did so at the same time. Many SAHP don't have that luxury.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:53pm
No it doesn't. Like I said FOR ME and the SAHP that I know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 9:58pm
True, but I am talking about the issue in general (how much free time SAHM get) not about you and the people you know. How much free time SAHM's get is related to the ages of their children.

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