SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:08pm

Fair enough. This is how I dealt with a "food phase": With my 12yo (the only one of my three who seems to go through this), she MUST sit with the family and at least TRY everything that is offered at a meal. If she decides she's still hungry, THEN she's allowed to eat whatever food crave she's into at the moment. And that food crave has to be something nutritious (food cravings of Cheez Doodles are NOT allowed). But, yes, she went through a phase where she ate an apple at every meal for months.

And sure, if you all have allergies and you're hypoglycemic, I would expect you to be more conscientious of what you eat that most folks. But none of that was mentioned in your earlier posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:10pm

>>You are failing to take into consideration differing circumstances.<<

i've been trying to make that point the entire thread LOL....

i'm glad its not just me....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:12pm
I would say the same thing about a WOHP. Depends on the job as to how much free time they get during the day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:17pm

>>I do agree though that whoever stays home should be doing the larger bulk of the housework because they are home more than the person working outside of the home.<<

i agre with that 100%. IMO though the "chores" should be divyed according to who is best suited for them. my DH can't really cook (he tries, but.....um....no) so i do that. he also is bad at laundry. so i do that as well. he's also bad at finances.....

hmmm, i'm seeing apttern i don't like here LOL.

seriously though, if something breaks, he's the mechanic (i can fix most things but if its a car, or anything having to do with electricity or plumbing i refuse to do it). i;m horrible at ironing. therefore, he irons the clothes.

as we have no "outside" work to do (we rent, so most of it isn't our responsability, unless we want to) we end up keeping the work "inside".

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:24pm

i agree with that way of doing it. try it first before turning your nose up at it! (i've had to do that with my DH LOL).

i didn't bother mentioning it really (i did mention allergies to milk) because i didn't think it was pertanent to the debate. i originally mentioned cooking as an example of a different family situation and had no idea it would boom into its own debate.

you can probably forget my next response to you in the thread, it is a bit snarky....*blush*

but i am glad we cleared up the misunderstanding.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 11:39pm

For starters you aren't with your children all day."

unless you home school, neither are you post preschool.

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 11:58pm

You said your dh helps with the housework, so you don't really do everything that sahms do, at least the ones who manage the household stuff like me."

Oh good grief. Here we go yet again. So WOHP's arent allowed to help with the housework? Othereise they disqualify the SAHP's from being true martyr's? Since when do SAHP's have to do "everything?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 12:31am

Oh, no worries. Snark rolls off my back.

Anyway, I look at it this way: In the not-so-distant past, our ancestors more than likely ate the same few foods every day, and the human race survived and thrived. Is it better to have variety? Sure, if for no other reason than to preserve your tastebuds. But eating the same foods all the time (as long as they are healthy foods) isn't that big of a deal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 6:43am
All you know are sahm's? You need to expand your horizons some more. No one at your job has children but you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:10am

With one exception. Free time at work is not really free time if you still have to be at work. It may be down time but there are restrictions on what you can do with that down time. We have been going through a slow period at work so I have had a lot of down time but I can't fill that down time with things that I would like to do like it could be if I were a SAHM. That time is being spent waiting around for work or doing some of the chores that I don't have time for when we are busy.

The only real coorelation between free time and the job is in the hours worked. I have more free time when I work a 6 hour day than when I work an 8 hour day.

But the age of the children does also effect the amount of free time a WOHP has. My youngest is 17 and I have more free time now even working 35-45 hours per week than I did at any time since I have had kids.

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