SAHM's and Money
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SAHM's and Money
| Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm |
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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Thank you. I though I was the only one. SAHM's don't want people to know this though, especially their dh's so they can think they had a really hard day when the kids were actually sleeping most of the day. I have 2 kids and even though I wohm, they did this on the weekends and I read their charts everyday. My son will still sleep at almost 3, 2 hours a day at daycare.
This is especially true if you have 1 child.
Standing up all day, even if you don't do anything else, is physically tiring. Dealing with the general public sucks, no matter in what capacity.
I worked retail for years. It's no picnic.
At least your dh is working. That's nothing to belittle. Even if you think his job is stupid. It's honest work and someone thinks it's important enough that they're willing to pay him to do it.
You have lots of reasons to be mad at your husband, and even some reasons not to respect some things about him. But his job? Not one of them.
I hope you are in counseling.
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And like I said 600 and some odd posts ago, then you must also feel on some level that your children are more YOURS than your DH's since he didn't carry them inside his body for 40 weeks or labor to get them out.
OTOH, my husband and I don't write our names on things acquired during our marriage. The inheritances I received through my side of the family are OURS, not just MINE. Why should his paycheck be any different? Do you look at items purchased in your house as YOURS specificially?
I just don't get your "MINE, MINE, MINE" complex. Of course, I also don't get an allowance from my DH. I clear big purchases with him and he does the same. Otherwise he trusts me enough, since our financial goals are the same, to spend what I need to spend to live our life. Money really isn't an issue for us, period.
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