SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:15pm
Yeah I tell ya...I am just sitting on the couch watching Porah and popping bonbons all day long. My children wear dirty clothes, we never have clean dishes, the carpet is a wreck, both cars should have been taken in for oil changes 3 years ago, my grass is up to my hips, and I think that the kids got a bath 2 months ago. I have to run now. It is time for my nap.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:18pm
SO you think that SAHM's are not independent? I was just reading in a local magazine here that a mother of 3 boys woke up one morning to her DH saying he wanted a divorce. She was a SAHM for 7 years and had to get a job. She went to teaching for 1 year then bought a dance studio. She now owns and operates a dance studio and makes a very good living. I think you would be floored how independent many SAHM are. My DH doesn't even know our account numbers, nor does he pay the bills. He has never given me an allowance. WE made the decision for me to SAH. The money in our accounts are just that...OUR money. He has never given me an allowance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:20pm
I'll answer this for my situation. I do post from work, yes. I post during my lunch break (which I am not paid for) only when I have time. We often have to work through lunch (actually today I worked from 7:40 - 6:00 w/a 15 minute break because half of the people were gone due to the holiday tomorrow). When I'm calling a client and they put me on hold I'll sometimes read a few posts while the hold music is going. It's not like I post when I'm supposed to be doing something else. But, that's just my situation.



Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:22pm
That is right. I sold my home, about 2 years after we married. My DH had an apartment before we got married. When we sold my house the income on that house was OURS not mine. I never viewed that equity mine and not his. Otherwise in this house he still hasn't caught up with me. The money we made on that house was the down payment on the house we live in now. If I add it up he has about 2 more years of making the house payment before he equals out the money that we made on MY old house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:25pm
The difference between you and new moms is that you have 3 independent ages of kids. They all don't require 24-hour assistance like someone with a 3 yr. old and a 1 yr. old. Those moms are the ones who don't get a break because there is no one there to help them during the day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:26pm
I would definately say that your child was not the norm. I have never heard of a child other than an infant sleeping for 6 hours per day and then again all night.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:27pm
I was posting that to her. She said she isn't allowed to use the internet at work. Yet I see posts that are during her 9-5 workday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:31pm
I was extremely lucky!! My 2nd now gets up at 5:30am everyday-ugghhhh!!, with or without a nap and anytime he goes to bed. My 1st would get up early too as she got a little older but she can sleep until 7:30am if she didn't hear her brother.
Maybe someday my dh and I will be able to sleep-lol!! We take turns on the weekend, I get Saturdays and he gets Sundays (I like to go food shopping very early) so at least we feel like we get something-lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:32pm

***SAHM's don't want people to know this though, especially their dh's so they can think they had a really hard day when the kids were actually sleeping most of the day.***

This is the statement that I sarcastically was referring to. You are right I have 3 children that are independent for the most part. However a 4 year old isn't making her pancakes in the morning nor is my 7 year old. YOU don't have a teenager like I do. So as for being independent, yes...in need of direct supervision...she is the hardest one to keep an eye on. Teenagers are as much work as small children. Let me make sure you get it. MOST children don't sleep most of the day. Just because your child was asleep the majority of her day and night doesn't mean that is the norm. Again I have never heard of a child napping 6 hours per day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 7:33pm
AND, I explained the days you showed me.

Pages