SAHM's and Money
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SAHM's and Money
| Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm |
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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***Both parents raise the child. They both discipline, teach, nurture, and care for the child. Plus, I'm sure the dad works more than 40 weeks in the entire lifetime of the child...***
Same thing goes for the money. Just because one doesn't get dressed and head out the door doesn't mean that person isn't participating in the earnings of her spouse.
>>May I ask what NPD is?<<
pardon me while i butcher the spelling of it...
narcisistic personality disorder.
typical characteristics include lack of empathy, feeling of superiority, child like antics for attention, egocentric etc etc. typically triggered by abuse or neglect in childhood. (but sometimes by other traumatic events).
thats the gist anyway...
my DD doesn't take long naps either. she'll almost always has one nap for 45-60 minutes. but a second nap or a longer nap is a rarity. and if she does sleep a lot during the day, it means i'm screwed as far as sleeping at night LOL.
like right now...she actually slept for three hours today total. now? not a hint of sleep in sight. argh!!
>>That's one thing that drives me nuts about my husband. He's really weird about me "knowing" how to do things... so if the A/C compressor goes out in my car, he wants me to watch him do it and help so I can know how to do it. Nice, in theory, but you know what, I married a mechanic so I wouldn't HAVE to know how to do that stuff! LOL<<
i know exactly what you're talking about! my DH insists that i know how to do whatever it is he's working on, and that he should teach me.
if i wanted to know how to do it, i'd have either already learned how, or i would have asked on my own LOL.
My DH would be the first to tell someone he couldn't work the hours he does and make the money he makes w/o me SAH w/DS. If he needs something (deodorant, clean clothes, etc), I make it happen. Could he buy his own toiletries and wash his own clothes? Sure, he managed for 25 years before our marriage and he could manage w/o me again. But just b/c he did it once doesn't mean it's ideal. His income skyrocketed when I went part time and has increased significantly every year since. Last year was his best year ever, and this year may top that.
For him, focusing on the job he loves and letting me manage our household and the rest of our life has been ideal. It works out really, really well for us. And comments like the OP's piss him off as much as they piss off the average SAHM. B/c he thinks what I do all day is usually harder than what he's doing all day. I don't b/c I enjoy it, but I often hear him make comments like that when he thinks I'm out of earshot.
yes, its good he has a job. we'll see how long he keeps this one for.
as i've said, i've worked retail as well. but he's not working at a mad house like old navy...no, no. he works at an upscale suit store where one or two sales a day per employee is a big deal.
he doesn't *actually* have to stand all day. often if i go into his store he is in the back, sitting, and reading a magazine. or chatting with the taylor if she's on that day.
yup, its great he earns a paycheck. but i do not want to hear about "how haaaard" his day was.
like i said, this is his job du jour.
we'll see if he can keep it.
for the record the job itself isn't stupid. its just a job...but he acts as if he were a regional manager and its the hardest thing in the world to do....
Edited 6/30/2006 10:11 pm ET by lauren1063
>>Same thing goes for the money. Just because one doesn't get dressed and head out the door doesn't mean that person isn't participating in the earnings of her spouse.<<
did you know a study was done and it was found that men with wives who stay at home on average make 3% more then men with wives who work? they also found that they were more likley to get a raise or promotion.
not that 3% is a whole lot, but its interesting none the less.
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