SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:52am
When I was on maternity leave, I got no money except for disability, a big $800 after taxes. We BOTH saved before I got pregnant and while pregnant for me to stay home. I still contributed to that. We didn't ever live just on my dh's paycheck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:55am
??????? I don't get it, you can't shop because it is raining?? You have to organize your life. I go food shopping on Sunday mornings no matter if it is snowing, raining, sunny, etc. That is my schedule and it does not get changed unless we have to be somewhere then or I am sick. You make a schedule, Mondays-clean kitchen, Tuesdays-bathrooms, etc. Yes, things might come up, but in the 12 or so hours you are awake, I am sure you can get some of it done. It just takes some prioritizing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:56am
And surprisingly, neither do you. But, again, 99% of marriages have money problems? You really like to exaggerate things to make your point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:56am
It does not take more than 40 hours a week to clean a house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:57am

Oh yeah, could you please site some of these surveys?

Most divorces are due to more than one reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:00am
Yes it does. You are not out there being a cop like your dh, being in stressful situations, having a chance of getting hurt. Most jobs are structured, like mine. I can't just get up and go to the store whenever I feel like it, SAHM's can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:00am

I am talking about good friends. And yes, we talk about our problems. Most of my friends (even the sahm's) are middle-upper class.

The pp assumes way too much about an entire population based on her corner of the world.

Perosnally, if a couple os divorcing solely b/c of money issues than they are not being honest with themselves. I raraely hear of a divorce basedon one issue. Even if cheating is involved, there were usually problems there beforehand.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:01am
Because they are taking care of the home and the family while the DH works. He doesn't have to miss work when the children are sick. My DH doesn't ever have to leave work because the children have to be picked up from DC. There is a lot to making a family work. When the SAHP is managing the household life is much easier for the working parent. The working parent is able to focus more on their career. My DH has an off duty job every year in October. He works at our state fair doing security. All the officers that work take 10 days vacation and work the fair because the pay is so good. The hours are LONG. He works every day from 9am til midnight. But if he ever quit working the fair he would lose his slot. There is a waiting list of officers that would LOVE to get their hands on a slot working the fair. If I WOH he would be unable to work at the fair. That is the money that we use to go on our big family vacation every year. My children LOVE that daddy works the fair because we go eat every other night at the big fair and they get to play. See what may not seem logical to those that dont do it is really logical to those that do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:03am
Money being the top factor in divorce is a long way from it being an issue in 99% of marriages. If you are doing a survey of people that divorce of course you are gong to find things that were issues to the divorce. That does not mean that those issues occur in high numbers in couples that do not divorce. That is a big part of why they do not divorce, they have fewer issues.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:04am

did you know a study was done and it was found that men with wives who stay at home on average make 3% more then men with wives who work? they also found that they were more likley to get a raise or promotion.

not that 3% is a whole lot, but its interesting none the less.

Most likely because they are working in a profession that give better raises. That is why their wives can stay at home.

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