SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:09am
Absolutely. I don't know what even happens in my neighbors house next door. All of these men who have been killing themselves and family members were known by everyone to be very happy in their marriages and no problems. You don't know someone's situation in life. When people take anoymous surveys though, they tell the truth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:09am
If I had the time I would research it. Maybe another day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:10am
Well when our son was born he took the Wednesday my son was born off, and just stayed home 11 more days. We were lucky because 4 of those days were on the weekends and he wasn't working shift work. His mother came down and stayed an with me for another week after he went back to work. To be honest she WANTED to. I didn't need her to but it was a really nice thing for us. When our DD was born we had the same routine. It worked for us. Our city allows him to take 3 weeks off when a baby is born. They will pay him for 1 week off and the rest would be unpaid. So to fill in the gaps he used his family sick time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:11am
So, you hav no diea if the numbre is 99%. Come on! Do you really think 99% of marriages fail solely b./c of money? If you want to post stats to back up your position, you need to have the proof.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:13am
I know this works for your family and that is great but why would he have to miss the fair if you worked? I work 9-5. I could easily and have before dropped off and picked up both kids and my dh did not have to do it. He rarely picks up one of the kids when they are sick. I do it all AND wohm. I planned my career so that I would have the time to do these things so my dh did not have it. My dh worked a part time job after his normal 8-4 and I had no problem working too. It can be done and I am proof.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:13am

ITA! I think very few people do not ever fight about money. We just had an argment the other day about the price of a new refrigerator. Big deal. We are not running out to get a divorce.

I do not see people getting divorced based solely on money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:15am
Most couples nowadays don't want to work through their problems so it is easier just to separate. There is such a higher rate of divorce today, I think I just heard the rate is 50% now. Very sad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:17am

***I don't get it, you can't shop because it is raining??***

If I have the children with me...no. Why would I head out in the rain to maintain a schedule.

***You have to organize your life. I go food shopping on Sunday mornings no matter if it is snowing, raining, sunny, etc.***

That is right...you go food shopping on Sundays because your DH is HOME to watch the children. Remember my DH works SHIFT work. He isn't home the same days every week. It changes every single week. So your situation is just that YOUR own.

***You make a schedule, Mondays-clean kitchen, Tuesdays-bathrooms, etc.***

Again that might work for you. However I have 3 children. One that is a cheerleader and has all sorts of places to be at all sorts of times. My son plays baseball, basketball, and hockey. My little one that does gymnastics. So you see I spend a lot of time driving people everywhere. There is no way to set schedule my cleaning routine given the fact that I have other obligations.

***but in the 12 or so hours you are awake, I am sure you can get some of it done. It just takes some prioritizing.***

LMAO...You are awake 12 hours per day? I am awake a good 16-17 at least. I think you are very confused. I get it all done. Everyday. All the things you said your DH does, I do that too. So I am not really sure where your comment that I can get some of it done, I do it all and then some.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:21am

Here is one thing I found on the net:

Why do people get divorced? In big cities, the main reason is stress. In smaller towns, the reason also involves poverty, which makes life for the married couple unbearable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 8:29am
No one said it did. However cleaning my house is not my only job now is it? I care for 3 children during the day. My housework, and yardwork take a distance second to the attention that I give my children.

Pages