SAHM's and Money
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SAHM's and Money
| Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm |
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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***I know this works for your family and that is great but why would he have to miss the fair if you worked? I work 9-5. I could easily and have before dropped off and picked up both kids and my dh did not have to do it.***
Again your personal situation is YOURS not mine. My career wasn't 9-5. I worked some evenings and a couple of Saturdays. Who would be the one to care for our children when I have to work 1-9pm? Should I take them to DC then have a babysitter pick them up? No thanks.
***He rarely picks up one of the kids when they are sick. I do it all AND wohm.***
Again YOUR situation. If I WOH I would expect that our family life would be quite different. If our children are sick doesn't automatically mean that I should have to leave my job. I have responsibilities too. Our children are OUR children. If I am working and my schedule is very busy then my DH and I would have to decide who would stay home that day or go pick up the sick child from DC.
***I do it all AND wohm. I planned my career so that I would have the time to do these things so my dh did not have it.***
Why? Is your DH incapable of caring for your children?
***My dh worked a part time job after his normal 8-4 and I had no problem working too. It can be done and I am proof.***
No one said it couldn't work. However you work normal business hours. Not everyone does that. Try to step out of the box just for a moment.
don't sell yourself short like that. maybe your parents cared more about leaving inheritance in only your name (a/w other siblings?) than including a larger mix of inlaws.......my mother has been deceased for 7+ years and dad has slowly chipped away at the inheritances for my 5 siblings and i. while we tell him to save it,spend it on himself or donate to charities he supports,he would rather send us (*us* meaning my siblings and i) checks to use for our families. dh has (indirectly) benefited from dad's generosity but in no way feels entitled to it the same way i am. and i feel the same way about dh's side. dh may collect an inheritance from them and while i may benefit from it,i am certainly not entitled to it.
while some families have the advantage of experienced planners,i think that could become shakey ground if they (inlaws) are attached to a will or estate. my cousin is married to a trusted attorney but she alone was executor to her parents estate,not him.....while her attorney husband is knowledgeable and experienced in the court of law and estate planning,he would *never* infringe on something so personal that belonged to his wife and her siblings. that's the way i look at it too.
The divorce rate has been in the 50% range for over 30 years and has come down recently.
Do you know how they come up with that figure? They take the amount of marriages in an area in a year and compare it to the amount of divorces on the same time. So if in County A there were 1000 marriages in a year and 500 divorces in a year the county has a divorce rate of 50%. It does not take into account all the marriages from previous years that never divorced.
I think a more accurate figure is divorced per 1000 population. That figure rund from about 2.00 to 8.00 depending on area.
Didn't you say you have a 17 yr. old? They can't watch the kids when you go out? Even when they are both in school, wouldn't you only have 1 child? I have one or both kids with me sometimes. I don't always go by myself. Someone usually wants to come with me! I'm not saying it is easy but it seems like you have options, also if your youngest is in preschool.
I understand running around with the kids and I am not looking forward to both of them in activities!! Luckily my dd only does 2 things now so it is not too bad.
I was saying 12 or more hours, some people don't get up until late, my neighbor gets up at noon on the weekends and has 2 kids.
"***I don't get it, you can't shop because it is raining??***
"If I have the children with me...no. Why would I head out in the rain to maintain a schedule."
Sorry, but this cracks me up. If our schedule were changeable depending on rain or snow or generally bad weather we'd never get anything done. We've had many days straight of pouring rain and weeks at a time of ice on the road. The kids go outside for recess at school regardless of the conditions. If they didn't, they'd go months without stepping foot outside.
I understand not everyone works 9-5 but people who don't, don't just stay home because of that. There are many people out there who will babysit children at odd hours. I see it in the paper all the time. They will work nights and weekends. People who have to work, are able to do it. It just takes a little research.
My dh is not incapable of taking care of the kids but at his last job, he was the only employee so it was hard for him to leave if the kids were sick. I have more time so I could go home. Now, he is much farther away so it would be harder for him to just leave. I am 5 minutes away from each of them so I will do it.
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