SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 3:58pm

"If I have the children with me...no. Why would I head out in the rain to maintain a schedule."

Why can't the kids be with you to grocery shop inside a grocery store?? Wouldn't you only be outside from house to car, car to store, store to car, then car to house? What's the big deal?




iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:03pm

I did not feel resentful because he would work part time jobs when needed and had tips but that would not be considered his regular pay, less than mine.

Would I only spend 30%? Most likely less than that because my spending money is less than 10% of my own net pay now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:05pm
I totally understand that but I have limited amount of time that I can run errands during the week as I am working 9-5 with an lunchtime of an hour. I can't decide at 10am that I am ready to go to the store, I have to wait and hope I don't have to stand on line my entire lunchhour. I LOVED the fact when I was on maternity leave that I could lesiurely get the kids and myself ready and go to the stores whenever I wanted to. That is a big benefit of staying home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:06pm
Does your 17 year old do chores? Does she not help clean and babysit her siblings? That was very common among my friends growing up. When I was growing up I did chores, I helped clean the house. I didn't live there and eat their food for 'free' and treat my parents like a taxi service. Once I got a job I even paid rent. Not much, but still something.



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:07pm

"If he was on a salary, taking a day off for a sick child would not affect his earnings."

That's not necessarily true, especially in the U.S. Very often companies provide a set amount of PTO (paid time off) for all time off including vacation, sick leave, caring for sick children etc. If more time than that is taken, it is docked from wages as an unpaid work day. Dh and I are both salary but we lose 20% of our income for any days we spend at home with sick kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:09pm

I do enjoy my job and the benefits are great, 25% off daycare, very close to home, medical benefits, dental benefits, eye benefits, 401K, stock, free things from the company during the year, etc. It is just a stressful job and always will because of my last boss. She let it know that we all do less than we actually do because she didn't know our job and allowed everyone to give us tons and tons of work because she wanted us (and mostly her) to look good. Even though she is gone, there is still that feeling and it is not going to change. I LOVE my new boss, one of my co-workers for years and friend. My main boss is the biggest wimp you will ever meet as is his assistant.

At this moment, I will be staying, mostly for the daycare AND because I LOVE the people I work with. They are all great and we work very well together. As a dept, we know the most and are the most efficient group in our company.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:11pm

I asked why you don't want your dh to have access to your money if you die. You said you do.... but I don't think that's true. If you *did* then his name would be on the account that his paychecks are deposited into. As it is, if you die he does not have access to his money. So apparently that's how you want it since that's how it's set up.

Why do you want your dh to be denied access to the money he works hard to earn??




iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:12pm
That's great and maybe I overdid it by saying 99%-sorry everyone!! I can only see money not an issue if we won the lotto, paid off all our bills and lived very comfortably.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:13pm
I still don't understand. You're not *shopping* in the rain. You're not even in the rain for very long.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:18pm
I agree. If there is barly enough money to pay the bills I would expect money to be a bigger issue than if there's plenty to cover the bills and hundreds of thousands in the bank. If both people are stressed about money and whether or not they can 'get by' that month, it's bound to put stress on the relationship as well.



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