SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:28pm
I meant 30% of the total household income as that was only what your contribution was.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:29pm
I believe that was the original point though - that wohps work 40 hours a week, and sahms work 40 hours a week. So your dh still works 40 hours a week even though he has an unpaid "downtime" hour for lunch break.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:31pm
How many sick days are usually given? If both parents woh, they wouldn't both have to take the day off for a sick child. Also, some people use personal days for those things.



Avatar for mom2danjam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:33pm
I realize your daughter is not a babysitter, but surely watching her sibling every once in awhile is not akin to "raising" your other child. I mean, I did not raise my siblings, but I did look after them once in awhile, to help out when Mom had to work late or if Dad wasn't going to be home until later on. I am not snarking on you, I am just curious as to why it seems so bad for your oldest to help out with her sibling every so often. Just wondering. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:34pm

Your maternity was like a vacation, no? Most of us don't live on vacation. I can't go to the store in the afternoon b/c that's when DS is napping. So I either go in the morning after breakfast or in the late, late evening (when DH is home to watch DS). Certainly it is more flexible than your schedule b/c I do not have to work from 9-5 every day, but it's not like I just go and do whatever the heck I want, whenever I want.

We have a schedule. Not as rigid as most WOHM's schedule, simply b/c I don't have to be out the door by 7am each morning, but we do have obligations and places to be most every day (preschool, standing playdates, etc) nonetheless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:39pm
Well, I didn't mention the coffee breaks, which are most assuredly paid time. Coffee breaks are taken pretty seriously in Sweden and usually add up to over 1/2 hour per day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:40pm
I don't divy up the bills by how much we make. We have our budget for each category, take both paychecks, deposit them and pay the bills that way. The only "my" money is our spending money. We have always done this no matter if I made more one week or my dh did including his tips.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:41pm

Not everyone requires that though. My mother never requested that my sister and I lift a finger around the house. Her mother made her clean the house growing up and she hated it, so all we were required to do was keep our rooms and shared bathroom reasonably presentable if we had company. And mom's idea of "reasonably presentable" isn't exactly Martha Stewart's.

In fact, my 4 year old does more around the house (helps load the dishwasher and washing machine, picks up his toys, puts his laundry in the hamper) than I ever did growing up simply b/c I require it. But not all moms do.

Long term, my mom didn't do me any favors by not requiring me to help out around the house, but she was doing what she thought was best at the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:44pm
My DH is paid strictly on commission. So if he's not working, he's not getting paid. Period. Granted, he could take off as many days as he wants, but we're not earning any income at all when he does that. So in our case more hours = higher income.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 4:44pm

In the U.S. some companies give no sick days for taking care of sick children. An employee either has to take vacation (most only have 2 weeks per year) or lie and claim that they are sick themselves(often only 2 days per month available). Any more time taken off than that and the wages are docked. Kids can get really really sick and that amount of time is pretty minimal. Ds and dd once managed to catch a horrible flu one after the other. They ended up at home sick for over a month...and that was just one illness. PTO is usually something like 21-24 days per year. That goes pretty fast too if kids are getting sick alot and one has more than 1 child. Any more time taken off than that is considered an unpaid day, regardless of whether one is considered "salary". In many companies, too many unpaid days off will get you fired.

For Sweden, it's different. We each have 60 days per year per child that we can take off. But we are only paid 80% of our salary for the days we do take off to care for sick kids. You originally claimed that salaried employees wouldn't suffer any loss of income by staying at home with sick kids. That simply isn't true for us or for many others.

Pages