SAHM's and Money
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SAHM's and Money
| Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm |
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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And so did I, my dd was in Kindergarten half day when I was on maternity leave. Because she went to a sitter before and after my maternity leave, she had to take the bus from her house, across town. I drove her there and back home or did errands. Then I would go back and pick her up. In the afternoon, if my ds was not napping at home, we would go out too. I never limited my time to go out with my kids when they were infants unless they were napping in their own bed. Most of the time my ds was small, he slept in the car. I think he barely napped in this crib-lol!
I understand that SAHM's don't always just stay home but with the less children and younger the ages, there is more flexible time to do things for yourself.
But not everyone gets personal days or even vacation days. DH doesn't. He can take off as much time as he wants, but he's not going to be paid for it. And given his earning capacity, it just makes sense for me to SAH and deal that kind of stuff while he works and brings home our income.
Working in the field I would work in would require going back to school and finishing my Masters and getting certified to teach, all for less than 30K a year to start. After you deduct the cost of schooling and daycare, plus missed work for DH while he covers for me while I'm back in school and then working, it makes more financial sense for me to SAH, particularly since I enjoy it.
Sometimes SAH is the better financial choice, particularly since my DH's earning capacity is much greater than my own.
So your "household" expenses/monies are shared, but your "spending" money isn't?
If I may ask, what exactly do you spend your spending money on?
I have far more free time now as the mother of a preschooler than I did as the mother of an infant or toddler. DS may nap less (he's always been a good sleeper), but he's in preschool six hours a week and able to entertain himself while I cook dinner or vacuum the house. Or even color or play w/play doh while I read a book. As his independence grows, so does my free time.
"But not everyone gets personal days or even vacation days."
I was talking about salaried employees. Most salaried employees get personal days and vacations days. Isn't it illegal for a salaried employee not to have vacation days?
"Working in the field I would work in would require going back to school and finishing my Masters and getting certified to teach, all for less than 30K a year to start."
What level would you be teaching?
I would want him to have it and legally the account is in my name-the man is irresponsible with money and when he had an account bounced an average of 10 checks a month=to $300 a month in bank fees and now he is listed in CheckSystems and can not have a bank account until those things are paid and they would be, but we don't have the money to pay them off-I had to go on WIC and get Medicaid secondary because of a $500.00 ded. my primary insurance has when I had my baby in April and now that we are about to get foreclosed on (due to a loss of his overtime) and haven't paid our homeowners dues in 4 months since I have the checking acct we have agreed that paying those things will have to wait until after we move in with my parents
sometimes things are not as they appear to someone looking in from the outside
BTW he has the ATM card and is not forbidden from using it when he needs some cash
I was wondering the exact same thing....why would missing the fair be an issue? I've never had another parent to pick up my child and that's worked out fine. I guess I'm having trouble seeing how rearranging a schedule (even if that was necessary) for a week would be enough of a problem to prevent him from working the fair.
Just curious, of course. I know that this is what works for them and that's the only thing that's important.
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