SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:12pm

***That still doesn't explain how the sahm helps him *earn* the money on his paycheck.***

Sure it does.

***If he was on a salary, taking a day off for a sick child would not affect his earnings.***

He isn't on a salary. If he takes the day off he either takes sick time or he doesn't get paid. Not to mention leaving work often for illness is noted. It could affect his yearly evaluation and raise.

***Um... why?***

Conflicting schedules.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:13pm
No wonder they take 2 3hr naps.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:14pm
When you have 2 children to take to the grocery store and then add bad weather to it, let me know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:15pm

OMG - I never knew that. What an incredibly screwy method.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:18pm
Yes she has household chores. However her schedule is very busy. No she is not asked to watch her brother and sister. She is a very active teenager and when she is sitting is when she is being paid by her regular families. I don't consider this mine and my dh house. This is our families house. She does do some chores, i.e. keep her bathroom clean, unload groceries, empty the dishwasher, and feed the dogs. I don't consider food in this house to be mine and she can have some. She is my child and this is her home. She will not pay rent here unless she is living here after college. What your parents did worked for you however I don't think it is necessary here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:19pm
Again let me know when you have to take 2 children into the grocery store and then add bad weather.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:22pm
I never said anything about raising my younger children...I don't know where that came from. My teenager is very busy. School is tough. She leaves for school at 6:30 and some days doesn't come home until 5:30-6pm. If there is a game it is 10pm. She has 2 advance courses and has loads of homework. She also babysits when she has the time to earn extra money. She does have a part time job but will probably quit that this year. She does watch her brother and sister if I have to run a quick errand here or there. However like I said catching her is the key. She can't be here watching her siblings when she is out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:53pm

It's not that hard, as long as everything is spelled out for everyone. My sister, for example, made an arrangement with her dh to each pay 50% for everything. One of them (him) has more left over after expenses, but their money is never shared. Vehicles and real estate are owned jointly but the costs are split down the middle. Utilities, insurance, and other bills are split in half. Yes, it may have restricted their options on their home but that never came into play because they knew they wanted to keep things simple in that area.

For me, that is the only way marriage could work. Because I got seriously burned financially in my previous marriage, I could never, ever share money again. It's just a risk I could never take.

But like I said, it's probably a moot point.LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:55pm
That's interesting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 7:56pm
What "work" is being pregnant?

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