SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:27pm

That may be a requirement in Canada, I don't know Canadian employment law. I do not believe it is a requirement in the US, but I may be wrong. IME, vacation time and personal days were presented as benefits, much like 401Ks and health/dental/etc insurance. I do know that my DH doesn't get paid vacation or paid holidays b/c he isn't "salaried" he's commission-based.

Early childhood SPED was interesting and I loved it, but quite honestly, I love being home more. We'll see what happens in the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:28pm
No, this was my daughter when she was younger. I think she got up between 6 and 7am at the time. She was always sleeping-lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:28pm
So it doesn't matter to you how much the other person is contributing financially, so long as the other person is contributing? Is that what you mean?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:31pm

But don't you consider gas and food household expenses? I mean, you've got to eat and put gas in the cars to function, don't you?

I'm just curious what you think SAHMs shouldn't be using "their husband's money" to buy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:32pm
I do. I have saved all my vacation and sick days for this and use my personal days for when my daughter is off. I planned this out and have 7 weeks of vacation this year just for this reason.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:34pm
That is why I barely used my days before I had kids so I would be able to take whatever I needed if they got sick. I am so glad I didn't waste them years ago.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:35pm

I guess the real question is: Why would you marry and then conceive a child with such a person?

And I don't mean this to sound snarky; I'm genuinely perplexed. According to your descriptions, there isn't one redeeming character trait possessed by your dh. And you certainly cannot claim ignorance if you have known him at least 8 years ago and you "know how he works".

I don't get it. What's the appeal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:44pm
It doesn't make a difference if you work pt or ft, as long as you can pay the bills and if you can't do that on one salary, why struggle? Both should be working then to help out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:46pm

No, gas has never been in our budget, we have always, for the last 13 years taken it out of our spending money. Never saw the difference if was coming out of the checking account anyway.
Food is not the weekly food but if we want to go out to lunch on the weekends, buy a pizza during the week or if I want to get a snack at work. My dh and I LOVE food-lol and are always trying something new and treating each other for little things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:50pm

In your OP, you said:

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900 posts later you say:

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What if you can do that on one salary? What if you aren't struggling and are completely, totally fine on one income? Why should the other partner work if they would rather be home and their income isn't necessary?

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