SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 11:58pm
I never said there was anything wrong with staying home if you didn't need the 2nd income. I just have always had a problem with the idea of not actually "making" the money and then claiming it is MY money. Technically it is not YOUR money when the paycheck does not have YOUR name on it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 12:02am

I don't think any of the SAHMs you're debating with call it MY money, we call it OUR money. It isn't MY money, it's our family's money, which my DH happens to make.

Quite honestly, if the DH bringing home the paycheck doesn't have a problem with it, I don't know why you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 12:08am
I don't have a problem with it. I just don't see how someone who does not receive the paycheck can say it is their money. It is the spouses (either one who is working outside of the home for money) money that they earned. If you decided to stay at home and watch the kids and such, then that is fine but that money was not earned by you. Unfortunately the job that you chose to do after kids, is not a paid one (it's physically harder than a regular job, I personally think).
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 3:15am

In Sweden, everyone has the same leave for sick children regardless of employment. The leave time and payment structured is set up by law. Everyone loses some money when they are at home caring for sick children.

In the US, the PTO of 24 days or 2 weeks vacation+2 days sick leave/month is quite common. Yes, everyone does have a somewhat different employment situation but you originally claimed that salaried employees will not lose any income by staying at home with sick kids and that is simply not true.

We've taken off plenty of sick days for the kids without bitching and moaning about it, despite the money it costs us. I'd be very surprised if your coworkers are discussing any financial penalties they face with random coworkers. Most of my childless coworkers were not aware of the existence of sick leave for children, let alone the costs. You can't be sure whether or not they have lost income by dealing with sick kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 7:33am
Sure, life happens!

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 7:38am
I doubt there are many parents on this board who have never taken 2 kids shopping while it was raining.

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 7:42am
Again, stress - could mean a lot of things. Where did you find it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 7:42am
ROFL, there has to be some division of labor in any home!

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 8:42am
Again go shopping with 2 children in tow for 5 people then add bad weather then let me know how it went.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 8:47am
I didn't say that these things dont happen to WOHP. Things do normally run well. I am not really sure where the quality of life came from. Want to explain that one?

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