SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 11:33am

I understand that you don't want to, and that's fine...I guess I'm just curious what it is about rainy weather that would make you not want to do something you might otherwise do.

I can't help myself...I'm just very curious about how other people think. That's the main reason I come to this board. Most days, I really couldn't give a flying you-know-what about SAH/WOH. ;-)


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 11:35am
Yes, there could be. But it seemed to me that she was assuming that everyone would find it an extra hassle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 11:46am
If it's nothing to you and entirely irrelevant to the debate

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 11:47am
That's just what I thought; even when I had only one, I often managed to find a second or even a third along for the ride.

Sabina

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 11:53am

I did have teenagers so I'm asking you why is it so bad to have your 17yo watch her younger siblings? My sisters and I watched our brother (he is 8 years younger than me and 7 years younger than my sisters) when our mom needed him babysat. Our girls have watched their brother when I needed him watched. They are 20, 17, and 13 years older than him. It's a matter of being part of a family. Does your 17yo do anything for the family or around the house?

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 11:58am

In this subthread about discretionary time available to SAH's and WOH's, you posted to PNJ that "I don't really get to choose what the day will be", to support your view that SAH's don't have more control over their time and how they spend it than WOH's do.

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 12:05pm

<< I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way? >>

Shamefully, I do have this prejudice. I'm trying to get rid of it though.... I work 70 hours a week, and have 2 children. Even with both partners working, our money has always been our own individually. I have in the past been a SAHM but I wasn't cut out for it, and I hated not earning my own money. I always felt as though I was 'begging' for money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 12:06pm

Ok. We just work as a family differently then. The girls got paid if they babysat their brother (i.e. if we would have to hire a sitter) but for running errands, they didn't get paid (going to the store, etc.). And I do work the errands/babysitting around their schedules just like I would have to if we were hiring it done.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 12:08pm

I've taken 3. And it was less trouble than taking only Dylan. Up until he was 5-6, I went alone if no one else was available to come with me to watch him in the grocery store. He was watched either at the store or at home.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 1:34pm

"But it seemed to me that she was assuming that everyone would find it an extra hassle."

I never got that from her posts.

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