SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 2:05pm

When my former SO and I were together, it was much, much easier for me to shop with all 4 kids than it ever had been with just Joel. Even if it wasn't always constructive (LOL!) the attention was on each other instead of me.

It's better now that he's older but when he was younger and it was just Joel & me, I was faced with trying to read labels and count carbs while at the same time answering a thousand questions about global warming, the current state of the government of Moldova, and why soup cans are red and white. I can multi-task right along with the next guy, but that was always a special challenge for me. ;-)


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 2:34pm

I have never said it was horrible. Let me put it to you this way, because debating this is really sort of silly.

1. Go to the grocery store when there is no rain and no snow.

2. Go to the grocery store when it is pouring or snowing.

Which would you chose if given the choice? Not a horrific need to go to the store, just time to go but you won't go hungry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 2:44pm
Going grocery shopping in the rain is not something that is necessary for us. We will still be able to eat. I have no desire to get two children out of car seats, walk to the grocery store, walk out, and unload 15 bags of groceries in the rain. It isn't necessary. I didn't say it would keep me from doing things I normally do. If I wanted to go to the mall, I would go. There is a nice parking deck to stay under. Would I go to the park? No. I really don't get the fascination as to why I wouldn't go grocery shopping in the rain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 2:49pm

***If it's nothing to you and entirely irrelevant to the debate then why did you bring it up?***

Actually I didn't say this either. I wonder why you continue to put words in my mouth. But just to answer some of your question....this came from a scheduling debate. I added that sometimes you can't stick to a schedule such as grocery shopping because it might be raining. I had no idea it would fascinate so many that I wouldn't want to go grocery shopping in the rain with two children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 2:54pm
Yes she does. However like I stated she is a very busy teenager. She does her chores daily. However I am not depending on her to watch her siblings so I can run to the store. IF she is home I might run to the store and pick up some things. It just isn't an issue in our house. We don't think given the time she spends at school, and working that she is obligated to watch her siblings. That is our opinion. Again what works for one family doesn't work for others. That is great you did watch your siblings. I don't think I once mentioned it was bad, so I don't know where you got that from. I think she is busy enough with her own things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 2:57pm
I couldn't even tell you! I went on ask.com and it came up with a few sites. Sorry!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 2:57pm
Ok well I don't put that much into it. Not getting something done one day or two days or three days just isn't siginificant to me. If it would affect your quality of life then I can accept that. However making sure my family is happy, healthy, and functioning that is all the quality of life I need.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 3:09pm
Not to butt in, but her kids are 17, 7 and 4. They are not babies. They are capable of getting themselves in and out of the car. My 2 1/2 year old can climb into his seat.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 3:14pm
But your kids are 7 and 4. They can get themselves in and out of a car in any weather.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 3:15pm
I don't take my 17 yr old with me. My son can get in and out of the car alone, but my 4 yr old doesn't get her seatbelt on her booster seat properly. So I do seatbelt her in. Doesn't change the fact that we are all still getting wet.

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