SAHM's and Money

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
SAHM's and Money
1310
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 1:57pm
I am a WOHM but have always felt like this, even as a kid. I know it is probably wrong, but it is a strong feeling I have had.
When SAHM's say "I bought this or "I saved MY money for this", I always want to say "YOUR" money? Now, don't get me wrong, my mom was a SAHM and a great one at that but she would get spending money every week, just like I do, while working, but I can't feel technically that it was "HER" money.
Staying home is a hard job, being home today I can say that it is much harder to have a stressful out of the house job AND have kids but it is more physically demanding then my job.
I just feel that any money in the household has been made by the dh and is really "HIS" all the time. He just gives it to his wife to spend. I know this is horrible but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:08am
I disagree. I think WOHP and SAHP have about the same amount of control or lack of when it comes to schedules. I have been a WOHP and a SAHP. I would say that control over time and life in general is about equal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:09am
I did answer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:20am
To me it is the nitty gritty but to a poor person, I probably have enough food for a month-lol!! But you know how it is with kids and a dh, once the snacks are gone, the world is coming to an end-lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:21am
The law might say that but in my head that money would not really be mine if I did not bring it into the home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:24am
The house is whoever has their name on the title. If one person's name is not on the title but they paid the mortgage the entire time, and have proof, they have every right to some part of the house.
So is my parents house that we bought, not our house because they helped with the downpayment? They don't pay the mortgage every month, we do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:29am
That's interesting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:31am

Money is the main reason of family quarrels and divorce.

An Economist Jay Zagorsky from the University of Ohio (Ohio State) has analyzed the results of a 40-years research project during which he interviewed about 33,000 people.

In 1960 researchers started to ask Americans from all over the country, on a no-name’s basis, questions about their private lives, including their attitude toward money. Zagorsky found that many men had disagreements with their own wives concerning money.

It was discovered that money was the most popular occasion for family quarrels and divorce. This is because husbands and wives have different representations about the family income and the income of each spouse.

Husbands can exaggerate incomes, and to wives their debts. Thus, their spouses think that they make less than they say they do. Husbands and wives have different concepts of each other’s financial worlds.

This is from legalhelpmate.com/news/divorce-news-2.aspx

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:32am

"Dh and I are both salary but we lose 20% of our income for any days we spend at home with sick kids."


Do you mean always, or only once you've exceeded your annual allotted leave?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:35am
I've been both also and I disagree. As a WOHM I have absolutely no control over the time I spend at work. I can not make any other plans for that time, I have to schedule around it. Although as a SAHM the amount of control I have over my time may vary due to life circumstance I never had a big block of time I had no control over.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 9:37am
I always wondered how companies could afford to give employees so many days off to care for sick children - now I see!

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