SAHMs: can't do anything right

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
SAHMs: can't do anything right
855
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 8:11am

I've noticed in the lifestyles thread that almost everything SAHM's do is immediately knocked down or one-upped. I don't see that the same is true for the WOHM's on the thread. Some examples:

If a SAHM cleans the house during the day, she isn't spending quality time with her children, or any more time with her children than do WOHM's. If she doesn't clean the house, she is being overinvolved with her children and interacting too much with them; she's not giving them time for free play.

If a SAHM teaches her children, she is an overachiever who is trying to produce an Einstein, not allowing her children to develop at their own rate, buying into commercialism. If she doesn't teach her children, she is just leaving them to their own devices while she gets "me time" or isn't providing them with the opportunities that daycare or preschool provides.

If a SAHM tries to socialize her children by letting them interact with other children on a regular basis, that's very nice, but kids of WOHM's in day care get MORE interaction, which is obviously BETTER. If a SAHM doesn't plan plenty of socialization activities, she isn't preparing her children for school.

If a SAHM tries to schedule regular activities and outings for her children, she's producing "jaded" children, forgoing a routine, "working too hard," wasting time driving around, and not providing enough time for her children to explore and investigate their own environment. If she doesn't schedule regular activities and outings, then her children are deprived of the many wonderful, exciting experiences that all day cares have to offer.

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So tell me, WOHM's, is there anything short of returning to work that SAHM's could do right?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:34pm
I agree with you. I don't think either should be covered under insurance. It is completely ridiculous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:41pm

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That's not about posting style, that's talking about the posts and the content of those posts.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:43pm
Heck, I only work one day a week for 4-5 hours yet the money I make is covering ds1's tuition for kindergarten at private school this year. While my income doesn't necessarily affect our SES, the little bit I make does have an impact on our finances. It's also nice to know that when my two younger ones are in school FT, I can increase my hours such that my income will cover the cost of all of our kids private school tuition. Even if I only make $35K (though most likely I'd be earning more) working 30-35 hrs/week, I'd still be contributing significally to our family income by covering the cost of our four kids to go to private school. Otherwise, we'd solely be relying on dh's income for that, and by me working, we will be able to save more for college/retirement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:44pm

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:45pm

You didn't miss it.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:47pm
Well. I have to say that's a weak peg on which to hang your argument. In this context, "unique" IMO means "limited to", as in "Of all possible work statuses, WOH uniquely allows for thus-and-such". Which I'm pretty sure is what most readers and contributors to the thread would take "unique" to mean. If not, then what else *could* it mean?

Sabina


Oh, lifeis a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea:


And love is a thing that can never go wrong; and I am Marie of Roumania.


Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:49pm
I disagree. I think both should be covered. Infertility is a medical condition as much as impotence. I think insurance companies should cover both conditions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 1:58pm

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Well telling me that I am ignoring the contents of a post is most definately talking about my posting style. However I will not debate this with you. I don't know about the unwritten rules...that is why I asked you. You seem to know what we are suppose to do.

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It was just a question. Just asking what she thought was unique about being a WOHP. Let me ask you and please emlighten me...what's the relevance of these post to me, when I wasn't asking you?

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Too much trouble. If you don't want to tell me then I guess we will just skip it. That outline is HUGE!

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Still isn't unique.

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Um...if you say so.

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Why is this so difficult? This isn't a UNIQUE thing. It isn't unique to WOHP. Not at all. If it were unique it would only be available to WOHP. It isn't. It is available to WAHP, and WOH people with no children.

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See above.

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LMAO...Twist and turn? Is this not what you said? **I gave you two unique things that the working parent can accomplish that the sah parent can not.** Did you not say accomplish? You surely can accomplish this. Doesn't make it unique. WOH/WAH people with no children can also accomplish this. Nothing unique about it. YOU PAY for this. It isn't given to you.

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I know you have and I have continually told you they CAN'T. I have also stated that it isn't about what a SAHP and what a WOHP can accomplish. It is about whether this is unique or not. It isn't a unique situation. Just go look up UNIQUE in a dictionary. It is all there in black and white.

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http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-pssahwoh&msg=17333.379

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 2:02pm

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Why are you having such a hard time understanding the definition of unique? Contriuting to a 401K plan is not unique. Millions of people do it. It isn't unique to working parents.

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You most certainly do. You give your company money out of your paycheck for them to invest and collect interest on. What happens if your company went bankrupt? You would not see a dime of that money ever again. So while you aren't paying a fee to contribute to your 401K. You are most definately paying them money with the hopes that your money will be returned to you with considerable interest when you reach a certain age.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Wed, 12-13-2006 - 2:04pm
They can mean it to say whatever they like. However being able to contribute to a 401K is not limited to working parents. It is a benefit that a lot of working people have. Is it unique that a company doesn't offer a 401K plan?

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