SAHM's place in a household
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| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 4:17pm |
They don't know me well enough and I just listened but I only do 60% of the housework and almost no cooking. My dh does almost all the shopping and takes the preschooler and baby and he likes to cook. He also works a job and earns a 6 figure salary occasionally doing overtime. He does all lawn and garbarge stuff. He also bathes both the kids. I do everything else plus the bills and if we have problems with anyone about anything my dh likes me to handle it since I can pit-bull anyone and calling the attorney general or the BBB is something I am familar with. I only mention it because these women did say their dh's were the ones to take care of business conflicts and the bills.
This got me thinking what do people consider a sahm role in the house to be? Obviously these women think in order to stay home and do your share, perhaps to make up for not bringing home a pay check, you do almost everything and if you don't you are obviously lazy. I have always thought of sahm as being more for the kids and me. My main concern is doing things with my kids as a family and showing them a good/educational time with their environment. It's really not to make my dh's life easier nor mine but if it happens anyway great. My dh married me for the person I am, not for what I could do to make his life easier. He would never think of degrading me nor threatening me over houswork which is one thing that alot of women in my playgroup said their dh's did.
So what is a sahm role or job duties in your personal opinion? Do you feel a person staying home should have to do more in order for it to be "fair" to the person working?

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My sister's little guy has a spina bifida. She lives 30 minutes from the nearest town (her and her dh have a dairy farm). Those two things - including but certainly in no way limited to driving him to his special needs preschool 5 times per week, his specialized doctor's appointments, his need to be catheterized every 4 hours, his need to be supervised constantly since he does not walk very well - keep her on the go the equivalent of a full time job.
My sister and I are both SAHMs, yet our lives are completely and totally different. How do you compare the two?
Well, that study sure sums up EVERY parents experience. Except mine, except your husbands's, except for about 80% of the parents I personally know.
It is difficult for families to work opposite shifts and always being able to get out of your work place & home in time for the other spouse to leave to be at work on time is hard as well.
That is just life. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be the only parent home in the evenings. It is about not seeing your spouse, having to put your job on the line many afternoons because you must leave to be home to take over so the other spouse can go to work.
Easy concept to understand if you don't twist it like you did.
Or is this another one of those things you don't claim as "fair" in your little book on life according to grimlin lol
Go sub, we knew what you meant!
My dentist is self employed - she works in an office with just herself and her assistant. Taking time off means leaving her patients unattended, potentially losing business, paying her assistant even though she is not working - I'd say all of those things fall into the category of "screwing the company" in one way or another.
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