SAHM's place in a household
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| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 4:17pm |
They don't know me well enough and I just listened but I only do 60% of the housework and almost no cooking. My dh does almost all the shopping and takes the preschooler and baby and he likes to cook. He also works a job and earns a 6 figure salary occasionally doing overtime. He does all lawn and garbarge stuff. He also bathes both the kids. I do everything else plus the bills and if we have problems with anyone about anything my dh likes me to handle it since I can pit-bull anyone and calling the attorney general or the BBB is something I am familar with. I only mention it because these women did say their dh's were the ones to take care of business conflicts and the bills.
This got me thinking what do people consider a sahm role in the house to be? Obviously these women think in order to stay home and do your share, perhaps to make up for not bringing home a pay check, you do almost everything and if you don't you are obviously lazy. I have always thought of sahm as being more for the kids and me. My main concern is doing things with my kids as a family and showing them a good/educational time with their environment. It's really not to make my dh's life easier nor mine but if it happens anyway great. My dh married me for the person I am, not for what I could do to make his life easier. He would never think of degrading me nor threatening me over houswork which is one thing that alot of women in my playgroup said their dh's did.
So what is a sahm role or job duties in your personal opinion? Do you feel a person staying home should have to do more in order for it to be "fair" to the person working?

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So where's the flaw in my argument? As I said, I'm boringly average. I worked with my real boringly average numbers to show that it simply is not a stretch to come up with only a small difference. Do tell where the flaws are in my argument?
Edited 6/2/2004 9:13 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper
No you still dont get it.
I know all mothers don't, whether they woh or sah. But I don't think you are really giving the mothers out there credit for spending time and raising their children.
With dh's work he even gets to spend time in the floor playing these things with her. Going to the park, having tea parties. An hour a day? An hour a day only for me to do these things with dd would be like when I'm sick or she is sick and we can't have any more time than that. Same goes for dh.
I know you can't comprehend parents who actually parent their children in this way because you don't and the studies say not. But fact is fact grimlin, get over it, you are not right, you are W-R-O-N-G...but I'm sure you know that, just can't admit it lol
Maybe you don't spend time with your dds this way. Maybe your dh doesn't with his kids. But to think that because what is normal in your house is actually what others consider normal raising of their kids is obnoxious at best even for you.
My point is that there's no NEED (with me home a couple days a week) for him to take time off work to stay home with sick kids or take them to doctor appointments. If HE's sick, on the other hand, of COURSE there's a need for him to stay home. But why should he take time off when the kids are sick when I'm capable and available to do it myself? Do you believe that's the only way he can be an involved father?
Trust me hon...I would love to have some just me time.
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