SAHM's place in a household
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| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 4:17pm |
They don't know me well enough and I just listened but I only do 60% of the housework and almost no cooking. My dh does almost all the shopping and takes the preschooler and baby and he likes to cook. He also works a job and earns a 6 figure salary occasionally doing overtime. He does all lawn and garbarge stuff. He also bathes both the kids. I do everything else plus the bills and if we have problems with anyone about anything my dh likes me to handle it since I can pit-bull anyone and calling the attorney general or the BBB is something I am familar with. I only mention it because these women did say their dh's were the ones to take care of business conflicts and the bills.
This got me thinking what do people consider a sahm role in the house to be? Obviously these women think in order to stay home and do your share, perhaps to make up for not bringing home a pay check, you do almost everything and if you don't you are obviously lazy. I have always thought of sahm as being more for the kids and me. My main concern is doing things with my kids as a family and showing them a good/educational time with their environment. It's really not to make my dh's life easier nor mine but if it happens anyway great. My dh married me for the person I am, not for what I could do to make his life easier. He would never think of degrading me nor threatening me over houswork which is one thing that alot of women in my playgroup said their dh's did.
So what is a sahm role or job duties in your personal opinion? Do you feel a person staying home should have to do more in order for it to be "fair" to the person working?

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Is it your belief that the only way a father can be involved in his kids' lives is to miss work to take them to doctors' appointments when they're sick? Please say it ain't so. But if it IS, maybe I'll ask DH to do it and I'll go get a manicure while he's busy missing work and being "involved" in the only way that could possibly matter.
How long do you spend playing a game with your dd at one setting? Just 10 min, just 30? We can easily sit for an hour just doing that one thing and it is by far not the only thing we do with her during one day.
Do you read to your kids a minimum of 30 min in the morning and 30 again somewhere else in the day before bedtime? Dh & I do it, individually with dd or together as a family.
Do you play tea party, let her help you bake & decorate cupcakes for dinner, let her help you make the salad, take her to the park and play with her (not sit and watch her, interact as in swing, laugh, play, etc) for an hour?
Maybe you don't. That is fine if that isn't for you as a parent. But to sit there & type on your keyboard that you obnoxiously don't think other parents do this, well, you are wrong.
I personally don't WANT my kids to remember either us taking them to get shots at the doctor or forcing them to shop for clothes they couldn't care less about. He DOES come to school activities. I'm sure they'll remember that too.
Susan
If sah is important to you but not your partner, you have to decide if your partnership is more important to you than you being a sahp. A few (not many) women have divorced their husbands over this issue. They are now sahp and live off of savings, welfare and/or child support.
Janet
there is PLENTY of time both weekdays, weekends, holidays and vacations.
eileen
let me rephrase for her.... a TECH career (or probaly a medical or lawyer career).
Mondo
I'm curious and this is not to be directed just at you but also fsw...I understand you not wanting to use daycare and respect that as we all have our own reasons and that's not my question, just a disclaimer.
PumpkinAngel
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