SAHM's place in a household
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 4:17pm |
They don't know me well enough and I just listened but I only do 60% of the housework and almost no cooking. My dh does almost all the shopping and takes the preschooler and baby and he likes to cook. He also works a job and earns a 6 figure salary occasionally doing overtime. He does all lawn and garbarge stuff. He also bathes both the kids. I do everything else plus the bills and if we have problems with anyone about anything my dh likes me to handle it since I can pit-bull anyone and calling the attorney general or the BBB is something I am familar with. I only mention it because these women did say their dh's were the ones to take care of business conflicts and the bills.
This got me thinking what do people consider a sahm role in the house to be? Obviously these women think in order to stay home and do your share, perhaps to make up for not bringing home a pay check, you do almost everything and if you don't you are obviously lazy. I have always thought of sahm as being more for the kids and me. My main concern is doing things with my kids as a family and showing them a good/educational time with their environment. It's really not to make my dh's life easier nor mine but if it happens anyway great. My dh married me for the person I am, not for what I could do to make his life easier. He would never think of degrading me nor threatening me over houswork which is one thing that alot of women in my playgroup said their dh's did.
So what is a sahm role or job duties in your personal opinion? Do you feel a person staying home should have to do more in order for it to be "fair" to the person working?

Pages
With my dh being in real estate he is often home say all morning with dd & I. That is her up at 6:30am and he is with us until say noon-1pm. This is common 3-4 days a week.
He is home say in the afternoon while she is napping for a couple of hours and we have time as a couple. Again, this is not uncommon or a once a week thing.
Granted he works evenings & weekends because those are huge real estate times with the clients but he is with us so much other times it is ok.
Luckily I do have options. Especially since I would never ask my mother.
With dh being in real esate he is often home all morning while dd is up and then she naps for a couple of hours so we can even make do on our own, another lucky factor.
It took us 10 years to decide we even wanted to have a child and there are just ways we have decided raising her will be for as long as those ways work for us and her. No daycare is definately one of them. We do have a lovely lady who babysits for us on occasion in our home when we go out. She is a family member by way of marriage through my brother so I'm comfortable with her. In a pinch, she could help if other ways weren't working out & we definately needed somebody to watch dd.
At age 5 and 4 your husband and his brother were JUMPING ON THE STOVE DOOR? You have just got to be kidding me.
Btw...most kids get lost by their parents.
Pages