SAHM's place in a household
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| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 4:17pm |
They don't know me well enough and I just listened but I only do 60% of the housework and almost no cooking. My dh does almost all the shopping and takes the preschooler and baby and he likes to cook. He also works a job and earns a 6 figure salary occasionally doing overtime. He does all lawn and garbarge stuff. He also bathes both the kids. I do everything else plus the bills and if we have problems with anyone about anything my dh likes me to handle it since I can pit-bull anyone and calling the attorney general or the BBB is something I am familar with. I only mention it because these women did say their dh's were the ones to take care of business conflicts and the bills.
This got me thinking what do people consider a sahm role in the house to be? Obviously these women think in order to stay home and do your share, perhaps to make up for not bringing home a pay check, you do almost everything and if you don't you are obviously lazy. I have always thought of sahm as being more for the kids and me. My main concern is doing things with my kids as a family and showing them a good/educational time with their environment. It's really not to make my dh's life easier nor mine but if it happens anyway great. My dh married me for the person I am, not for what I could do to make his life easier. He would never think of degrading me nor threatening me over houswork which is one thing that alot of women in my playgroup said their dh's did.
So what is a sahm role or job duties in your personal opinion? Do you feel a person staying home should have to do more in order for it to be "fair" to the person working?

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For general appt's, I really doubt a child cares which parent is there, as long as one is there.
I don't have relatives in the area and dh's relatives all work or have kids of their own.
Yeah, it sucks. We were just sick 2 weeks ago and it was a real misery. But, you deal.
Meldi
I think maybe what she is trying to say (and I might be totally off base here) is that when there is a SAHP in the household and the WOHP takes time off to take a child to the doc's....they are "screwing" the company because they ARE able to work and someone else IS able to take care of the sick child.
but that is something major and/or specialty visit.
BTW, when my kids are sick, I take time off, I do virtually all dr's appts. That's because I have a very liberal sick leave policy at work. I guess I'm screwing my employer. Funny, they don't seem nearly as ticked about it as you do.
Susan
Janet
Dh is in exruciating pain with shingles right now, and as soon as the nausea from his meds passes, he's going to work. So he rarely takes off even for himself. And it wouldn't be any different if I WOH. My work status doesn't affect his choice of jobs.
When I was a SAHM my DH took our DDs to lots of doctor visits. At some bases we were stationed at the only child allowed was the child with the appointment and in other cases it was much easier to listen to what the doctor had to say without the distraction of keeping an eye on other kids. It was an excusable absence for him to take his child to the doctor but not for him to come home and watch the other kids while I took the kids to the doctor. So he took them.
If dual WOHP parents were allowed time off for doctor visits but not WOHPs with a SAHP then they would have been held to different standards. There has been lot of talk of how the choices someone makes about their home life should not be taken in account in their work life. It goes both ways. If dual WOHP can take time off to take their child to the doctor and not been seen as screwing their boss then the same holds for the WOHP with the SAHP. Why should the working status of the spouse even matter?
Susan
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