SAHM's place in a household

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
SAHM's place in a household
929
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 4:17pm
At the last playgroup meeting I went to, all sahm, the conversation turned to how much everyone did in their house. More to the point everyone started talking about one of the members that wasn't in attendance that day. Apparantly her dh does 50% of the household chores and everyone else was basically saying how lazy she was. The rest gave examples of how they did "everything" in the house down to mowing the lawn and taking out the trash and the main concensus was "what does she do all day", and "her poor dh". They also lamenated how their dh's didn't know how to bathe the children, how they would forget to feed the kids dinner on the rare event they were out and dh was watching the kids, and how the dh's didn't know how to go out with the kids (like grocery shopping).

They don't know me well enough and I just listened but I only do 60% of the housework and almost no cooking. My dh does almost all the shopping and takes the preschooler and baby and he likes to cook. He also works a job and earns a 6 figure salary occasionally doing overtime. He does all lawn and garbarge stuff. He also bathes both the kids. I do everything else plus the bills and if we have problems with anyone about anything my dh likes me to handle it since I can pit-bull anyone and calling the attorney general or the BBB is something I am familar with. I only mention it because these women did say their dh's were the ones to take care of business conflicts and the bills.

This got me thinking what do people consider a sahm role in the house to be? Obviously these women think in order to stay home and do your share, perhaps to make up for not bringing home a pay check, you do almost everything and if you don't you are obviously lazy. I have always thought of sahm as being more for the kids and me. My main concern is doing things with my kids as a family and showing them a good/educational time with their environment. It's really not to make my dh's life easier nor mine but if it happens anyway great. My dh married me for the person I am, not for what I could do to make his life easier. He would never think of degrading me nor threatening me over houswork which is one thing that alot of women in my playgroup said their dh's did.

So what is a sahm role or job duties in your personal opinion? Do you feel a person staying home should have to do more in order for it to be "fair" to the person working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:39pm
Didn't you figure it out by now?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:41pm

No acording to his mother having the whole stove fall on his leg broke the bone clean though.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:45pm
No my point was that the dc provider was not paying enough attention to the kids and it allowed one of them to be seriously injured.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:48pm
That would be a huge lifelong mistake & we would all be living unhappily ever after in the world according to grimlin!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:57pm

No see you still dont get it but thats fine.


Lets see He doesnt want to come home from a VERY STRESSFUL job, and then deal with his wife leaving every day for 7 hours while he has to then cook dinner, and deal with everything else.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:59pm
I was standing 3 feet away from my son when he fell off a stool that was a foot off the ground and broke his arm. He required surgery and was in a cast. A mother can be supervising *very* closely and accidents still happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:04pm

Nikole, I'm with Sue ... I'm trying hard not to be insulted.

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:05pm

Oh you are so right. When I was single living in apartments here and there, I had soooo many clothes and underwear - I could never get to the laundromat!

Right now, I do probably 10 loads

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:06pm

Well gee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:14pm
No no no they don't really overexagerate. They just report it as their kids tell it. I'm sure when you are a kid and an adult woman is your most consistantly available playmate...the time tends to drag a little. How much attention do these women need from their offspring, that they arrange lives so that the child's primary playmate for hours a day on a regular basis is Mommy?

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