SAHM's place in a household
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| Sun, 05-30-2004 - 4:17pm |
They don't know me well enough and I just listened but I only do 60% of the housework and almost no cooking. My dh does almost all the shopping and takes the preschooler and baby and he likes to cook. He also works a job and earns a 6 figure salary occasionally doing overtime. He does all lawn and garbarge stuff. He also bathes both the kids. I do everything else plus the bills and if we have problems with anyone about anything my dh likes me to handle it since I can pit-bull anyone and calling the attorney general or the BBB is something I am familar with. I only mention it because these women did say their dh's were the ones to take care of business conflicts and the bills.
This got me thinking what do people consider a sahm role in the house to be? Obviously these women think in order to stay home and do your share, perhaps to make up for not bringing home a pay check, you do almost everything and if you don't you are obviously lazy. I have always thought of sahm as being more for the kids and me. My main concern is doing things with my kids as a family and showing them a good/educational time with their environment. It's really not to make my dh's life easier nor mine but if it happens anyway great. My dh married me for the person I am, not for what I could do to make his life easier. He would never think of degrading me nor threatening me over houswork which is one thing that alot of women in my playgroup said their dh's did.
So what is a sahm role or job duties in your personal opinion? Do you feel a person staying home should have to do more in order for it to be "fair" to the person working?

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I was babysitting a kid when I was a teenager. I was RIGHT BEHIND him when he went to open the glass storm door and slashed his wrist when the glass broke. Thankfully, his parents didn't blame me or sue me because their child was hurt while in my care.
I just think you're giving a bad rap to a someone who just happened to NOT be the child's parent.
And FTR, I am *not* suggesting that you use DC if you have reservations. I am NOT a huge proponent of DC although I did use it when my boys were younger (it was the best option for us at the time). However, please remember parents are not perfect and kids get hurt in their parents' care as well.
I don't think that missing work=screwing the company. If you have to miss work, you have to miss work. I have no issues with sick time, vacation, personal days, etc. But MY (as a PTWOHM) asking MY DH to take off work today so he could take DS to the doctor would be ridiculous. HIS taking the day off to do something I could very well do myself COULD, in fact, lose his company and also HIM because he's in sales, money. Planing a day off in advance for a school function carries no consequences for him as he'll just not schedule meetings for that day.
See what I mean now? It wasn't a generalization. It was specific to my situation.
Oh, but see, there you are wrong.
If it's a dual WOHP home, some HAS to take off to take the child to the doctor. There's no way around it.
In a home with a SAHP where said SAHP is capable and available to take a child to the doctor, I don't see a NEED for the WOHP to have to miss work. Of course, you had a need as well by not being able to bring siblings.
Sure the WOHP is still missing work either way, but if DS woke up with a fever and vomiting this morning, asking DH to cancel his meetings so HE could take him when I'm home all day anyway just wouldn't seem like the logical thing to do.
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