SAHM/WOHD Issue
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| Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm |
My husband came home the other day with this story:
His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.
K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....
K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.
Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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That's not how it is at my company.
Don't you get something for working for a long time?
Wy would I not get it? Why the hostitity?
I know very well what mommy track is. I also know that mommy track is NOT universal, and is often actually the choice of the working spouse. I also know that it varies greatly by industry.
Just wondering why you are so insistent that if this dad actually contributes at home and helps his wife with the twins while they are still infants he will lose his job or at lesat suffer at work.
If that were the case with me, I'd always go out to lunch. You deserve a break.
I loved the first place I worked for - they also provided 5 cent soda, free coffee, free bagels, etc. plus a lot of staff development and "fun" events (free family picnic with a lobster bake, events for the kids, etc., a free christmas dinner (turkey or ham brought to the office from a local gourmet supplier), free holiday party, etc. They were very strict with their time, however. Tardiness was not tolerated. And you *had* to take your lunch - if you didn't "clock out" for that time they would actually reprimand you. They wanted to avoid burnout.
I loved it, but my true passion was where I am now: higher education counseling. Here, I'm exempt and not hourly, meaning I do work some overtime, but I get to leave early for appointments, etc. with no financial reprecussions.
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