SAHM/WOHD Issue
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| Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm |
My husband came home the other day with this story:
His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.
K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....
K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.
Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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I would think these spineless cowards are doing more than jet skiing because why wouldn't a guy be able to tell their wife that he's taking a day off to go relax and have fun?
Makes me wonder a little that maybe a female is participating in this little excursion and maybe the wives wouldn't approve of this? Hmmmmm......
According to the OP, the kids are 4 months old. I guess 4 months is "too long out of the workforce".
I don't see how her asking her husband to be home after his shift is over is unreasonable.
I know of MANY people who have requested the DH do exactly what your example did. Why is it laughable? I know of MANY fathers who have wanted to be in on the whole nighttime interaction (my DH included - I had to tell him "go to sleep, I've got it" because he used to get up with me to change DS's diaper - oh yea, and he was working a pretty demanding job at that point too - guess what, a little lost sleep didn't hurt him).
The father holds as much responsiblity for the baby(ies) as the mother. And the mother in the case of the OP is outnumbered by the babies. She needs help, he needs to give it to her.
I know - the fact that they are lying to their wives invites, if not practically BEGS, for this type of accusation!
I would be very leery of men who routinely lie to their wives about where they've been and what they've been doing. And shame on the wives for trusting the men after discovering the deception.
Jennie
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