SAHM/WOHD Issue
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| Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm |
My husband came home the other day with this story:
His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.
K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....
K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.
Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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Because his job is already suffering from the current situation. And because I am a mom who has done midnight feedings with singletons and know it can and does impact your work performance, I can only surmise that this is worse with twins. Since he is the sole support of the family, his job needs to be protected. Not that he doesn't help but she can't be calling him all the time, demanding he come home at a certain time and he can't be going in to work exhausted all the time.
He has an unhappy boss and isn't doing what he's supposed to right now. That is not acceptable.
And sorry for the snide remark. I confused you with someone else.
Hmmm? In a company the size of mine, what are the odds that someone wouldn't have taken them to task if the law actually said were entitled to so many minutes of break time? Pretty much 1.
No, I'm salaried. I'm not paid for hours worked, I'm paid for a job done. The conditions under which I do said job are frequently negotiated. As far as the law goes, while my employer can't take action against me if I do take a break for lunch (though they can be unhappy with me and reflect that in my next raise), they are not obligated to provide a lunch break as they are for non-exempt employees. For them, the company actually has to prove they took those breaks.
As a supervisor, I had to document breaks taken by non-exempt employees. I've never seen an exempt employee have to document breaks. Could that be because the Feds don't get involved here?
Going back to that job as a supervisor, that was the one job I had that I never got a lunch break. I just packed a sandwich and ate in in between emergencies. Typical for the job. If this was against the law, I'm sure the company would ahve been called on it. Funny how no one, not even the government questions this if it's law.
My job does not require breaks because I'm not tied to my desk - a line - a cash register - whatever. Because I can go to the bathroom when I want, they are not required to provide me with break times. It's expected I'll take what I need sometime during the day and sometimes that involves eating a candy bar on the run for lunch.
Few people in my office take a lunch break. Most of us just grab a quick bite at our desks and get back to work. It all comes out in the wash though.
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No.
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How....fascinating. I guess it beats making paper clip strings.
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Or maybe it's easier to blame on the wife one's own refusal to evolve past 7th grade game playing.
"Are you serious?"
Yes I am serious. You don't think that fatigue can be the cause of a serious accident that can kill a mother just like it can a father?
"Mom can grab a nap if she needs to."
That might not always be possible. I never took naps while my babies napped. And I'm sure I'm not the only woman in the world.
"Going to the grocery store or for a walk in a stroller is not a necessity if mom is exhausted."
That doesn't take away from the fact that alot of Moms do it.
"However going to work isn't. What is your solution? Since mom is tired dad has to be too?"
My "solution"? I don't think that's the right word. My point is that Dads aren't the only ones who can be seriously hurt during the day from fatigue.
No, you don't need a degree to call yourself an engineer. Did you ever hear the term "domestic engineer"?
Train operators are "engineers".
From the definition on dictionary.com a Mary Kay consultant can refer to herself as an engineer.
It's a broad term.
I am aware that there are degrees in engineering and those people are legitimately engineers.
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I'm curious where anyone in this thread has said the current situation doesn't need any changing.
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And again, where has anyone in this thread said anything to the contrary?
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