SAHM/WOHD Issue
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| Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm |
My husband came home the other day with this story:
His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.
K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....
K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.
Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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Jennie
"I didn't say she didn't get up at night."
Yes you did. Post 649, "So dad should waste sick days and personal days because mom can't be bothered to get up during the night?"
Well you get a gold star then because I was normally 100% capable as well but you know what it is not 100% my responsiblity....and well missing a little sleep here and there is not going to hurt anyone let alone the father of the child.
Jennie
"Wow, there is a broad spectrum of what is considered an engineer. I've never heard of a firefighter being called an engineer. One could work in virtually any industry and be called an engineer."
Which is so stupid.
If my "audio engineering" friend was at a party - and say I met him for the first time:
ME: "What do you do?"
HIM: "I'm an engineer"
ME (excited, because I love engineers): Great! What kind of engineer are you?
HIM: An Audio Engineer
ME: Oh....(thinking, maybe that's an engineer...but I don't think so)...so what does that involve exactly? I've never heard of it.
HIM: Oh, well you know sound booths, when singers go and record? Well I run those, and work with recording studios
ME (thinking, well, you're not really an engineer, eye roll): oh, well that's interesting.
People like to call themselves engineers because real engineers have a good reputation, and just are so naturally awesome, and because (in canada) it's basically an exclusive club that not everyone can join.
We agree on something :)
I was thinking mother's helper because they are less expensive than any other kind of help and there has been a "living paycheck to paycheck" subtext (but that could be wrong) and because the OP said (correctly or not) that the wife refuses to leave the twins in anybody else's care. Mother's helpers wouldn't require that. It could be a good idea or a terrible idea depending on how the wife feels having a 11-15yo in her home (she might feel even more burdened if she didn't fully trust them).
What's involved with Ocean Engineering?
PumpkinAngel
Just because you don't see the point, doesn't automatically make someone a lazy person, or any of the other names you used.
PumpkinAngel
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