SAHM/WOHD Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
SAHM/WOHD Issue
1289
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm

My husband came home the other day with this story:

His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.

K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....

K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.

Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 11:51am

Maybe she feels that she can't trust anyone outside of her or her dh?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 11:52am

Is English your native language?

If you asked him to go and get the kid, he would roll over and laugh at you. Was that not you who wrote the post?

The baby starts crying, you ask him to go and get the baby, he rolls over and laughs at you. What's not to understand?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:01pm

How would his Lt and Captain know?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:03pm
I only took a handful of classes related to ocean engineering - my concentration was aerospace (and actually now they are separate degrees) but basically it would involve boats and subs instead of airplanes and rockets.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:04pm

Post 503:

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:16pm

Ok, well DH and I have personal cell phones where we can take calls. Now, we need to give the definition of "calling all day". If that's considered the 8:35 that DH and I work, and we were talking all of those hours non-stop then we certainly wouldn't be able to get our job done. But, if it's considered a call an hour for 5 minutes or so, you can get your job done.

"Can you see him on a scene and me calling him to say...When are you coming home? Why arent you here yet? Good grief."

If it was on his personal cell phone, why wouldn't he just be able to say that he's busy at this particular moment and can he call you back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:19pm

"Well I think raising children can be quite difficult."

Hey, hey, hey, I thought it was soo easy to wake up each and every night tending to a newborn/infant without any help from the other half of the babymaker.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:22pm

Ah...he's more interested in what's swimming in the ocean than what floats on top, lol.


Thanks.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:24pm

Well, as I said in another post anyone can call themselves an engineer. A SAHM can call themselves a "domestic engineer.". A train operator can call themselves an engineer. We have repeatedly asked her what kind of engineer she is and she has refused to answer.

I guess the term "engineer" is getting itself used-to-death. I think one should specify what type of engineering career they have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:24pm

My dh has a company cell phone, or rather now it's a blackberry.

PumpkinAngel

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