SAHM/WOHD Issue
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| Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm |
My husband came home the other day with this story:
His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.
K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....
K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.
Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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You disagree about someone handles the
PumpkinAngel
Give support, comfort?
PumpkinAngel
***But to say making a DH get up in the middle of the night makes the other lazy is just not true. And I understand there was an extreme example you are refering too.***
Lets try this yet AGAIN.
Post 304 I stated:
expects her DH to go get the baby in the middle of the night and bring the baby to her, she nurses the baby and he takes the baby back to bed. Cracks me up....my DH would have rolled over laughing at me if I told him to do that. I think it is insensitive and nonsense.
You have distorted that statement more than once.
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Like I stated clearly, If I told my dh that he would get up and go get the baby to bring to me and nurse the baby and then take the baby back to bed he would laugh at me. I never said that if the baby was crying that he would laugh and roll over.
***The baby starts crying, you ask him to go and get the baby, he rolls over and laughs at you. What's not to understand?***
I really wish that you would READ the statement. I have posted it more than once. What part of if I TOLD my DH to do that aren't you understanding. YOU are distorting what I said.
thank you for such honest answer copwife. i've heard plenty of friends (w/teens) share that same sentiment...and while i'm not there yet,it does help to hear honest testimony instead of false hope that raising kids is not difficult.
sort of why i believe oprah when she says sah is the *toughest* job in the world too. tough doesn't necessarily mean hard or difficult..in my world,it has prepared me for the responsible role and battle i have *dealt* with head on instead of trying to deny it or escape from it.
Edited 7/19/2006 1:05 pm ET by egd3blessed
Not exactly, no. But if you want it to be all about you, personally, then have at it.
BTW, you absolutely did say that your DH would laugh at you if you asked him to go get the baby.
A simple yes or no question:
If the baby started crying and you asked him to go and get the baby, would he roll over and laugh?
***How would his Lt and Captain know? Forgive me if I am mistaken, but didn't you say your dh was out on a beat when your children were small, in bad neighborhood? Could't you have called his cell phone without anyone knowing?***
The cell phone is owned by the city. They have records of incoming and outgoing calls on his cell phone. If he goes over his allotted time on his cell phone he will get into trouble and they will take the money out of his pay. He will also get a DA form in his folder.
***I am sure that dh's boss has no clue to the number of calls and/or emails that I send my dh. Well, I bet the IT knows the number of emails if they would choose to check...but his boss unless he specifically requested that of his employees....***
My DH city monitors emails, and cell phone calls. Not to mention he can't be listening to his cell phone, radio, and computer in his car all at once.
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