SAHM/WOHD Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
SAHM/WOHD Issue
1289
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm

My husband came home the other day with this story:

His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.

K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....

K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.

Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:28pm

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What is a DA folder?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:28pm

No I haven't. I have asked where I posted this. No one has shown me yet.

If twice a day is too much for his job than that is too much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:29pm

Why this time frame of five minutes,every hour?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:30pm

Paycheck?


Not saying I agree with that...but?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:30pm


Okay I agree that EVERY time is a little crazy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:33pm

Maybe it's the wording?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:33pm

Ok please please please stop stop with making assumptions to what I said. I never said a WORD about anyone needing help. You can say whatever you like about my situation. I wasn't in your situation. YOU needed help. I didn't. Why is that so hard to understand? My oldest was 13 and my second was almost 3 when my last was born. I didn't have the issues you had. Your hands were more than full, mine were busy but nothing like your situation.

***My nodding off behind the wheel while driving my kids to preschool, or closing my eyes out of sheer exhaustion at home, with 4 very small children could certainly have resulted in tragedy.***

I did post something about that. If you are so exhausted that you are nodding off, then you have no business driving a car. That isn't safe for you, your children, or anyone else on the road.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:34pm

Who here is trying to "deny" or "escape" motherhood? Just because some of us do not believe that it's the "TOUGHEST job in the WORLD" does not mean she is denying anything in regards to parenting.

"Motherhood" in my my home is also shared by the equally capable and "just as good at parenting and raising a child as the mother" father. Maybe that's why it not as difficult for me as it is to you.

Also, if "toughest" in the sentence "toughest job in the world" DOES NOT mean hardest or difficult then exactly what does it mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:35pm

As I said, it's documented....just there is no need for micro-management.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:35pm
If you are going to continue to be so sarcastic and posting silly things like precious DH blah blah blah, I will just refrain from responding to you. Let's try to keep this on an adult debating level.

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