SAHM/WOHD Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
SAHM/WOHD Issue
1289
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm

My husband came home the other day with this story:

His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.

K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....

K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.

Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

Pages

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:36pm

And if you were exhausted after having a c section and asked your DH to get the baby so you could nurse it - and he laughed at you - you would just take it?

If my DH did that he wouldn't be my DH.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:37pm

You just said you disagree with how they do things.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:37pm
Yep. That is the downside to nursing. I guess if we want to start the whole even split...he is ahead. He is 100% in the income dept and I am 0%.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:37pm
Yes.
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:38pm
Do you work outside of the home?
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:39pm
So should she just deal if he tells her to get out of bed when he gets up? Their oldest gets up and wants juice and to lay on the couch in the bonus room right outside their bedroom. He gets that for her every morning while mom sleeps. So I guess he should just deal then wake her up in the morning to get their oldest her juice.
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:39pm
She wasn't insulting you. By your count, you've now been insulted by at least 4 people on this board - I've been here at least 3 years and I haven't been insulted once (despite getting into some pretty heated political battles). Your skin is obviously not thick enough.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:39pm

Yes I do. Why do you ask?

Robin

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:40pm

"I believe I said that having 3 (sick infant, a 2 yr old and a teen) at times was pretty close."

And you wanted to add more to the mix by watching your friends' kids?

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:40pm

Oh for the love of getting quotes right..... here it is.....

http://www.rkba.org/media/oprah.27oct95.

Within the article her quote is there. She is quoted as saying "Parentingis the toughest job." NOT Stay at home moms.

Pages