SAHM/WOHD Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
SAHM/WOHD Issue
1289
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm

My husband came home the other day with this story:

His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.

K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....

K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.

Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:42pm
No, I asked you what your definition is of "calling all day".
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:43pm

Maybe she doesn't trust you?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:44pm

"I just don't feel that I need to be a superwoman. AT home or not my DH and I made this baby together and he was completely capable even if it was few and far between to give me a break at night. You said NEVER......and well I have a hard time believing that you NEVER wanted his help...you just never asked....and if you NEVER needed his help at night you are awesome and that is cool. I just think that is playing the martyr...and if you aren't fine."

ITA.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:45pm

That's what he wants to do currently, while playing professional baseball of course on the west coast.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:46pm
How is that insulting? You are saying that you never need his help at night, you never need to talk to him during the day. What do you need him for???
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:46pm
Yes you are correct.
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:47pm

You're the person claiming everyone is insulting you (mommy mommy, she said something insulting and that's a TOS violation!)

LOL, you're too much - the precious DH I was referring to was the one in the OP. It's not all about you.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:48pm
I can see that but I don't understand why one can't use their personal cell phone that they pay the bill for every month.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:49pm

She never needed her DH in the evening it is as simple as that or so I have been told :)

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Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:49pm
No, I meant I can't believe your kids weren't nursing at night at 3 and 4 months. Mine nursed through the night for much longer - and deservedly so since solids weren't started until 6 months.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03

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