SAHM/WOHD Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
SAHM/WOHD Issue
1289
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm

My husband came home the other day with this story:

His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.

K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....

K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.

Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:49pm

Oh, that looks cool...thanks!


PumpkinAngel

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:49pm
Huh?
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:50pm

***What is a DA folder? What if he goes over his allotted minutes and it's all business? Does he have to pay personally even then?***

Sorry Disciplinary Action. No if it is all business it is fine.

***Now this doesn't make sense to me, if he's not expected to listen to all three at once, then why issue him all three?***

He has to work on his laptop in his car. He has to listen to his radio in case his officers call for help or they need him on a scene. He can't be talking to me about some personal issue while doing his job. He has to have all three so that the dept can contact him at home or while working. They have those Nextels to reach other officers when the radio's are busy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:50pm

So, you did say that he would laugh at you if you asked him to go and get the baby so that you could feed him/her.

Thanks for clarifying that.

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:51pm
Well, you've posted here three times, and I'm thinking that your work ethic might be lacking. If my DH calls me three times during the day apparently that's a poor work ethic on his and my part (according to you and copwife, who don't believe in personal calls at work) but posting on a debate board is perfectly acceptable.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:52pm

Wait a minute, the example that copwife used was every hour for 5 minutes.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:53pm

Not at all - the OP said "calling all day" and copwife took that to mean every hour for 5 minutes.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:54pm

<Well, you've posted here three times, and I'm thinking that your work ethic might be lacking. If my DH calls me three times during the day apparently that's a poor work ethic on his and my part (according to you and copwife, who don't believe in personal calls at work) but posting on a debate board is perfectly acceptable>


LOL :P

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:56pm
Thanks for the warning.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 2:58pm

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