SAHM/WOHD Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
SAHM/WOHD Issue
1289
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm

My husband came home the other day with this story:

His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.

K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....

K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.

Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:26pm

For me it would depend on what is going on.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:27pm

Please tell me what you meant by:

I'm getting the feeling copwife's DH is giving her a line. "This-is-the-departments-cell-phone-and-they-check-every-incoming-and-outgoing-call-repeatedly-so-don't-call-if-it-doesn't-concern-a-trip-to-the-ER" spiel.

Are you saying that he is lying to me?

Just because I am capable of nursing a baby with no help, and I don't feel the need to call my DH all day to tell him about this or that doesn't mean that I don't need him. We have a great marriage and both do our jobs well. We see each other a lot without the need to chat every hour for 5 minutes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:28pm
Perhaps she is not comfortable with the idea of you watching her kids in particular?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:28pm

Being a Godmother has different responsibilities than babysitting.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:30pm
My son started cereal at 3 months and both my girls at 4 months. I know some people that nurse every 4 hours some every 3 hours some children need to be awakened at night to nurse. My babies were all very large. Like I said...I know that I was lucky, and had very good babies.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:31pm

"Are you saying that he is lying to me?"

I don't know. I don't know the man, you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:32pm
You said he should just deal in the middle of the night. So when he is up in the morning getting ready for work instead of getting their oldest her juice and letting her watch cartoons on the couch he should awaken his wife and she should just deal?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:33pm
Do you know the difference between ASKED and TOLD? Did you read my post or just skim it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:35pm

How large?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:35pm
No that is WRONG. Pebbles post calling every hour and talking for 5 minutes would be acceptable.

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