SAHM/WOHD Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
SAHM/WOHD Issue
1289
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm

My husband came home the other day with this story:

His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.

K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....

K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.

Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:36pm

So, he would do it if you asked him but not if you told him?

Is it ok to say that someone seems like they have control issues?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:38pm
LOL Good one!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:41pm
Ya know I expect a cop to stick to the facts. Can you tell me other than wanting my DH to get enough sleep at night where I would think he was delicate? Again officer...dont they teach you to stick to the facts instead of spinning things the way you want?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:43pm
It depends on the individual baby. Both of mine actually slept from about 9pm to 4am by the time they were 8-10 weeks old. That was a lovely 7 hour stretch. They also woke, nursed for about 20 minutes and then crashed for another 3 hours or so. On the other hand, they both were really into 3 hour marathon nursing sessions from about 6-9pm, so I guess they made up for the long stretch somehow :-).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:43pm
No he can't listen to all 3 at once. I didn't say that. Like I said he has a Nextel and they will beep each other if the radio is busy. If I need to contact him I email him and it will show on his computer in the heading...call home no hurry, or call home emergency. He gets that faster than a phone call.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:44pm
Civie, your DH is a cop too, why don't you ask him about sticking to the facts? I am interpreting the posts the way I see them and you seem to be very coddling to his behaviors.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:45pm
Is he always sitting in his patrol car to receive your email?
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:46pm
You do realize that once you get out into the real world, all that cool stuff you so admire kinda...isn't. As in isn't really cool and isn't really in existance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:46pm
No it isnt. Like I said...the OP said that she calls a lot during the day enough to where his job is in jeopardy. Another poster said what if that meant twice a day. If his job were in jeopardy over 2 calls a day then that is too much. You are right and I have said as such. Each job varies what is too much. In the OP whatever that amount is is too much.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 3:47pm

The post has been quoted to you many times already. You've been given the post number.

Honestly, if you can't remember what you've said, despite having it repeated to you several times, maybe you shouldn't keep claiming you have or haven't said anything in particular.

Pages