SAHM/WOHD Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
SAHM/WOHD Issue
1289
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm

My husband came home the other day with this story:

His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.

K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....

K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.

Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:04pm

Many states however have rules that require hourly employees to receive breaks.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:04pm

Civie? Who says that?

Coddling to his behaviors? What behaviors? What coddling? Facts just the facts maam.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:05pm
He has a desk too. If he isn't he will get the message pretty quickly. So far I have not had to call him on his cell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:08pm
Nope. I have had a few people link me to the post where it said if I TOLD him to go get the baby he would laugh at me. Not one yet where I said if I asked him to or asked for help or however else anyone here wants to twist it is located. If you can find where I said if I asked him to go get the baby or asked for help then he would laugh at me I will be glad to read it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:10pm
why would i not define how difficult raising my child is based on my child - who else would i base it on. personally i dont have a problem doing the right thing, thats just the way i was raised, so i dont find it hard or easy, it just is. do i always do the right thing, of course not, no one does, but i dont worry about it - i dont want or expect perfection from myself or my kids
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:11pm

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Perhaps, but since I am not the only one who is reading your posts in such a manner....you might want to consider the possibility that it's your wording.


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See, wording again.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:13pm
The weight of a child has nothing to do with whether or not he/she is physiologically ready for solids. I haven't heard of solids being recommended at 3 months for anything other than very special cases of reflux for many many years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:18pm

Okay, but for right now, i still have a year and a half which I'm not in the "real" world - and also I was just saying the reasons that I like engineers in general.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:18pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:19pm

I have never heard of starting cereal so early that was recommend by a doctor.

PumpkinAngel

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