SAHM/WOHD Issue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
SAHM/WOHD Issue
1289
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 4:35pm

My husband came home the other day with this story:

His coworker, J and J's wife, K just had a set of twins born via in-vitro after 17 years of marriage and infertility. Anyway, the end of the pregnancy was difficult and K was on bedrest and the babies were born (I think) 6 weeks early - one of them had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth. OK - that's the background.

K got a lot of attention during pregnancy - not being able to move around on her own. Now the babies are 4 months old, but although she is a SAHM, she expects (yes, expects) J to leave work every day at 4. That's the normal time, but at times they are required to work overtime if something has broken and needs to be fixed before the next shift comes in. According to my husband, J comes home every night and fixes dinner, washes bottles, takes care of the babies, and then gets up with them in the middle of the night. The only time K is bothered with them is during the day when she's home alone. (I know, this account is how J related it to my husband, so the story is probably more one-sided than the situation really is.) And K may have post-partum depression and that can explain needing J so much....

K's mom and sister both lives within a halfmile of her and can come to help with the babies, but she expects J to leave work everyday at 4 to do it. She also calls a lot during the day. Anyway, the other day something had broken and J needed to stay past 4, but he tried to leave - my husband's and J's boss told J that he needed to decide what is more important - him taking care of those babies or him working to provide for those babies? Sounds to me like J's job is starting to be in jeopardy and he makes pretty good money for the area of the country we live in. Replacing that income would be very hard.

Just wanted to see what y'all thought about this.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:34pm
I don't know about the sleeping through the night thing. I know my DS slept for about 4 hours before and after slept about 6 hours. So did both my girls. However my youngest had some issues and would nurse a little at a time very often during the day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:34pm

"My DH knew that I would let him know if I couldn't handle something. He always took the children in the mornings on his days off downstairs so I could sleep in. I guess maybe in our home we all just kind of know what we do. I know that I cook dinner. I know that DH does dishes. I know that on his days off he does the kids baths, and on his days at work I do. If we waiver out of the routine we ask for help. My DH always knew that I would be the one to get up with the baby at night. That if I needed him to get up I would let him know."

Makes sense to me. :)

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:34pm

Yes I've heard the term Domestic Engineer. Rather insulting to real engineers.

Yes, engineers drive trains however there's more to being a train engineer than just driving the train. They maintain it too. Or did. Anymore, they pretty much just drive it.

What does a Mary Kay consultant engineer?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:35pm
BChE and MSE
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:36pm
I think you might be missing something. My oldest isn't his child. I was a single parent with my oldest. My other son was almost 3 when his sister was born. He wasn't and hadn't gotten up at night in a long time. I only had one child up at night.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:38pm

***So the fact that he has all three is totally irrelevant as a reason for him not receiving personal calls on the cell phone.***

I think it is. Listening to his radio, reading his computer, and if that Nextel does beep, and then I call him. He has 3 things he is trying to concentrate on. Add driving to that list and it is a mess.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:43pm
Mine does. As a supervisor, I had to make sure my workers got their breaks and document how long they were. I don't know what would happen if we didn't but the company took it quite seriously. They didn't seem to care if I got a break or not. I've always assumed that that was because there was a certain amount of flexibility built into my job that didn't exist for the hourly workers. Not that I got much in the way of breaks but I went to the bathroom when I wanted to go without having to flag down someone to spell me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:44pm
Well that explains why my company was anal about us documenting breaks for the hourly employees. There was money on the line.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:52pm
ive known alot of cops in my lifetime and i have yet to meet one that couldnt find the time to make/take a personal phone call during their shift. how about doing it when they are sitting at the donut shop or sitting in a parking lot talking to fellow officers, or hanging around the police station yucking it up. i am not saying police arent busy but i have never met one too busy to take a phone call from home.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: jen1098
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 4:54pm

<>


She thinks so, why would what I think matter?

PumpkinAngel

Pages