SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
1037
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:54pm

I was just at the gym this morning and overheard a conversation between two women on treadmills who were discussing/debating as to whether married sahms were any more or less likely to have affairs than married wohms.

I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this.

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Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 1:17am

We're not talking about children. A child who steals doesn't know any better. An adult who steals has a character flaw.


You're the one trying to make it more than it is. A flaw is a flaw. A weakness is a weakness.


And for the record, my statement wasn't the ironic one. So your (yawn) personal attack is simply funny. And somewhat ironic.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 1:19am
I'm glad you're amused. You seem to be under the impression that I'm somehow disagreeing with savcal. I'm not. I agree wholeheartedly that someone who cheats is immoral, selfish, and flawed. You're the only one trying to claim we're saying that's ALL they are.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 1:20am
Huh?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 7:59am
Define Grandmother, I have known Grandmothers from the mid 30's to the 90's. When my mother was my age she had been a Grandmother for 4 years. Trust me 46 year old woman still "get it on".
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 8:28am
I'm not sure that people who cheat plan to find someone to cheat with. Of the cheaters I know, it seems to start with benign, vague problems at home (not enough time together, not enough attention, losing sight of "couple time", etc). Pair that with daily contact with an attractive, attentive, and off-limits co-worker who compliments your new dress (that your dh didn't even notice), and I think in a weak moment, some women fall into the "grass is greener" scenario. On the one hand is domestic responsibility, and on the other hand, is adults only environment (e.g. at work) where you are getting paid attention to. Easy lunches with this new friend turn to conversations about problems at home, which turns into an intimate emotional relationship, which sometimes turns into a sexual relationship. And I see all of this taking place more with WOHMs. Not because of anything other than opportunity. You're out there and exposed to the temptation, that's all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 8:34am

>>It's kind of like separating the child from the behaviour ya know? The child isn't bad, but he did a bad thin
well put. case in point is when my dds and I were at walgreens the other week. we were there to buy one thing and one thing only ~ my girls, 7 and 5, were tempted by cute jewlery in the cosmetic area and they stole it w/o me seeing it. They knew that what they did was wrong but they attempted it anyway to see if they could get away with it. when we returned these rings, I asked to talk to the manager so the girls had a front and center authoritive direction and discipline from that store. It helped.

for TM to say that kids steal because well.....because they know no better is silly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 8:44am

But that isn't what TM said. . .TM wasn't referring to children.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2005
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 9:01am

>>We're not talking about children. A child who steals doesn't know any better. An adult who steals has a character flaw.

I was trying to grabble some of the conversation before jumping in.....this is what TM said and it isn't an accurate assessment if you and trying to support an argument by shoving the difference between what an adult does and what a child does.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 9:10am

Your children didn't know better. They might have had some vague idea that it was wrong, but they didn't really understand what that meant. They were testing. Kids don't always get it right the first time. They might try it again; they might not. But if they keep doing it repeatedly

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 9:11am
Oh, I definitely agree with you there. But don't SAHPs have their own little scenarios too that could result in the possibility to cheat? Some of the other posters think so. And then you still have to have a convenient location and time.

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