SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
1037
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:54pm

I was just at the gym this morning and overheard a conversation between two women on treadmills who were discussing/debating as to whether married sahms were any more or less likely to have affairs than married wohms.

I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this.

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Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 12:41pm

<>


Who are you disagreeing with here? Because no one has said this.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 12:42pm
Careful, you're contradicting yourself again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 12:45pm
LOL according to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 12:47pm

No, I have still not faltered from my stance. You, however, have. But since you have decided and stated that I am wrong - clearly we are done.

ROFLMAO

Nick

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 1:14pm

I was talking about a spouse being incapacitated indefinitely. Personally, I don't think I could do it. But maybe if I was in that situation, I would be surprised by my ability to do without. I guess we never know what we're capable of until we're actually in the situation, do we?

Honestly Melissa, I do not know how you do it. I think you're a pretty amazing lady.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 1:30pm
You lie once you are a liar. Doesn't mean you will always be a liar.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 1:31pm

<<>>

ITA. With this and the rest of your post. We really can't say how we would react in a given situation. We can imagine, but until/unless we are faced with it, we truly don't know. That has been my point all along. I don't think we can automatically assume that an individual who engages in an extra marital affair has a character flaw. According to TM, if you lie, you are a liar, and thereby your character is flawed. Circumstances don't matter. In that case Melissa has a flawed character b/c she has chose not to hurt her husband by lying to him about her true feelings. On the contrary, I think she is completely selfless and shows tremendous strength of character.

Nick

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 1:32pm

No. If you lie once, you may be a completely selfless individual who chose to lie for a very good reason. It does not mean you are a liar. It MAY mean you are a liar, but not necessarily.

Nick

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 1:33pm

It IS selfish. That is pretty much non-debateable. You do it to please yourself and fulfill your own needs .. one who is cheating is chiefly concerned with one's own self ... which is the dictionary definition of selfish.


It doesn't really matter if the morals of the cheater label it immoral ... it is the morals of the person who is being cheated on that matters. THAT is who is being hurt.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sat, 02-19-2005 - 1:37pm

The REASON doesn't matter. If you have lied, you have been a liar. At the time you tell the lie, and the time immediately surrounding it, you are a liar.


That does not mean you will continue to lie or that you didn't have justifiable reason to lie, but you did lie.


(btw, I think there are *exceedingly few* cases (wife in lifelong coma MIGHT qualify) where there is justifiable reason to cheat)

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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