SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
1037
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:54pm

I was just at the gym this morning and overheard a conversation between two women on treadmills who were discussing/debating as to whether married sahms were any more or less likely to have affairs than married wohms.

I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 4:56pm
I have heard told actually, that both diet and sleep habits change as people age. As does the sex drive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 4:59pm
We are debating your claim here. I maintain, you are incorrect. I maintain, affairs happen more readily in the suburban bedrooms of women with control over their time and property, than for women working in downtown offices.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 5:06pm

Consent does not mean there is expectation of pleasure. Its just - consent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 5:45pm
Always? What if one parther has back sprain or something and can't participate in actual sex, but is more than happy to perform sexual acts on the partner? That's wrong? Why? The spouse of a disabled person is now not only wrong to desire sex, but is wrong to accept sexual pleasure from his or her own spouse?
Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 5:50pm

<< What if one parther has back sprain or something and can't participate in actual sex, but is more than happy to perform sexual acts on the partner? >>


If the person is "more than happy" to do it, then obviously they are recieving some sort of pleasure from it. It doesn't have to be *sexual pleasure* ... just pleasure. I, for one, heartily enjoy giving sexual pleasure to df, even if it isn't going to be reciprocal. But the key is .. I *enjoy* it. In your scenario, both spouses are happy ... it's a non-issue.


(I don't think I said, in any posts on this sub-sub-sub-thread that both parties had to receive *sexual* pleasure ... but that it should be pleasing to both spouses.)

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 6:06pm
That is the promise he made.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 6:15pm
I don't agree that the pleasure has to equal each and every time. Sometimes the pleasure comes in doing something that you know your spouse desires.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 7:41pm

I have had sex when I didn't particularly want to, and it wasn't particularly pleasant, but I have done it to please my dh. (or let him do it lol)

I don't think it is wrong. I'm sure he'd give me sex if I wanted it and he didn't - rofl - as if THAT would ever happen.

Nick

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 7:42pm

Yes, that is the promise he made. And then the circumstances changed. Lots of people make the promise and later divorce - because the circumstances changed. Til death do us part, does not mean til divorce do us part. In this case, divorcing her would have been selfish, and possibly led her to commit suicide. He, and the rest of her family, were walking on eggshells. She was mentally ill, but trust me, he didn't sign up for the abuse he was getting either. Being an emotional hostage is not a pretty thing.

Nick




Edited 2/21/2005 7:45 pm ET ET by ikorky9899
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 9:16pm

<<Sometimes the pleasure comes in doing something that you know your spouse desires.>>


Then it's pleasurable. That's the kind of thing i'm talking about.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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