SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
1037
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:54pm

I was just at the gym this morning and overheard a conversation between two women on treadmills who were discussing/debating as to whether married sahms were any more or less likely to have affairs than married wohms.

I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 5:02pm
Really. Nothing at all. So a 27 yr old would really have no more idea if another person, ostensibly doing no more than making polite conversation, were coming onto them, then would say, a 14 yr old?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 5:05pm
Sarcasm.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 5:18pm

Yeah, but you are in the middle of a passionate (somewhat new) love affair. Maybe it is your resolve to never think of sex as a chore, and maybe that will be quite helpful in your upcoming marriage. But you shouldn't dismiss it out of hand completely. There is nothing wrong with having chores, is there? It's how you take care of things, maintain and nurture. Chores can be very important.

My dh often thinks that sitting and listening to me blather on for thirty minutes about the wild and crazy day I had with the children is a chore. That's okay. At least I get what I want and need. I don't need him to be passionate about it every time. (He could look away from the computer chess game long enough to make eye contact though...)

I certainly wouldn't think of sex as a chore if I were at your stage either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 5:27pm
So then you agree that people can learn alot about human nature and human behaviour as they go through life and experience human nature and behaviour. Which must mean, you agree that pretty darn likely, any woman whose had much at all to do with men as peers and friends and co-workers and whatever, are going to be able to identify the sexually frustrated behaviour?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 5:28pm
Yes - about your sex drive and reaction to lack of sex. What does it have to do with what you do or don't miss when your husband isn't around?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 5:40pm
Nope. Because anyone elses' sexual frustration is none of my business. Why would I try to identify that?

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 5:47pm

Yes and no.

During those times both partners should give in some. If one partner should be willing to accept having sex even though it feels like a chore then the other partner should be willing to accept the fact that they will not be having sex everytime they want it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 6:10pm

"Interestingly enough, there's a difference between my sex drive when dh is home and when he's not."

I think that is pretty normal. Whenever we have had long seperations after about the first month my sex drive went into "hibernation" state.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 6:51pm
Decades? How the heck old are you? To give any credence to your decades of life experience and study of human relations, you'd have to be in your 70s. Then, I'd have some respect for your wisdom. What I have seen though, does not indicate much more than arrogance as opposed to genuinely obtained wisdom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 6:55pm

That is such an excellent point. I hadn't considered this to be part and parcel of her idealistic view of marital sex. Yes, absolutely. In the first 5 years of our marriage, we were like a pair of rabbits. We've calmed down alot since then. lol

Nick

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