SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
1037
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:54pm

I was just at the gym this morning and overheard a conversation between two women on treadmills who were discussing/debating as to whether married sahms were any more or less likely to have affairs than married wohms.

I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 7:03pm

I have thought of sex as a chore before. And "giving

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 7:05pm
What does calming down have to do with being badgered or pressured into sex by an non-understanding mate? Or by being badgered or pressured into not having sex by a non-understanding mate?

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 7:07pm

Your theory might be accurate if this was Hollie's first marriage.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 7:32pm
That's when a quickie might be in order. I really wouldn't equate it to going the dentist (grocery store, perhaps?), but he gets what he needs, and I get to go to sleep at a decent hour ;) Besides, sometimes it turns out that I'm more into it than I expected, which is a pleasant surprise for both of us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 7:41pm
I was the same way when nursing, and I nursed my kids for 9 and 22 months respectively. Pregnancy didn't do much for my sex drive either, so when you consider the amount of time I've spent pregnant and breastfeeding in the last 6 years or so, we'd have had some awfully long droughts if I expected the earth to move every time we did it. That said, with a couple of notable exceptions, dh has generally been pretty sensitive to my feelings as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 7:45pm

That's when someone being "take it or leave it" comes into play. But that doesn't happen, at least in my experience, when I really dont' want it (when Im sick or really tired or in a really bad mood).


Besides, for us ... there is no such thing as a quickie.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 7:47pm
I think that anyone that expected the earth to move every time would be in for some awfully long dry spells. Fortunately, I only know of one person that expects that ... and I divorced him.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 8:44pm

I think you may have a chance of maintaining this ideal, especially if you and he enjoy the same intensity of sex drive, have similar stress loads and energy levels, and if you choose not to have any more children.

But I do think your situation is somewhat unusual and if that allows you to feel good about never considering sex a chore, the more power to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 8:50pm

Perhaps I missed the pressure and badering posts, but at face value, nothing. I was simply commenting that in our early days, I was always *up* for it. After 12 years and two kids, my drive has slowed down considerably. His hasn't. Sometimes I do it because he wants to. I wouldn't say it is a chore for me, but there are most definately times that I would prefer to go right to sleep, to watch tv, read a book etc etc.

Nick

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 8:51pm

I don't think it matters. When you are in a new relationship, even if it's not your first, you tend to be idealistic. Perhaps moreso when the 1st was less than you wanted.

Nick

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