SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
1037
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:54pm

I was just at the gym this morning and overheard a conversation between two women on treadmills who were discussing/debating as to whether married sahms were any more or less likely to have affairs than married wohms.

I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 10:44am
There is nothing but giving in at those times. At those times, anytime a partner gives sex, chore though it may be, no matter how rarely, or anytime a partner forfeits sex, frustrating though it may be, no matter how rarely, the partner sees themself as doing more than their share of giving in, and not getting nearly what they need to keep the relationship from deteriorating further. At that point...it can't be much about *us* or *understanding* or anything else mutual. Its really a solo flight from each persons perspective, where that person has to on their own, figure out just how much they can give to the end of trying to facilitate repair of a relationship that has almost ceased to be one. It can't be cheques and balances because the partners aren't functionning as partners and they aren't going to agree upon any sort of common scale.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 10:50am
So it must be the math thing, then.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2004
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 10:55am
Actually math had nothing to do with my post. Perhaps you should re-read it. Clearly while math is not a problem for you, comprehension may be?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 10:59am

She's only 32 (right Hollie?).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 11:02am
I'll be 34 in a few short months ... sigh ...

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 11:02am
At one point, you might understand that you wouldn't be "giving in" to "please your parnter" any more than you go for a "root canal" to "please your dentist". You go for a "root canal" in an attempt to "save your natural tooth". And you may eventually understand how you could actually be "giving in sexually" in an attempt to "save your relationship". No guarantees you know, either way, tooth or relationship. But what you would do for a mere tooth, surely you would be willing to do for a relationship? It does take some getting past the "what about me and my needs" thing in life, or rather, taking that to a new level, but thats what relationships often do require. Some people never go to the dentist, can't, too fearful. Shrug. Not a strategy I'd recommend though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 11:30am

Math

quiet_mom=70 or decades=untrue

does not hold unless the following condition is specified

50<=sexual_maturity>=40.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 11:31am

<<You go for a "root canal" in an attempt to "save your natural tooth".>>


You don't go for a root canal if the problem is a deviated septum.


Sex won't save a relationship unless sex is the reason a relationship is on the fritz.


In order to save relationship, you have to find out what the *real* problem is and fix that problems. Fixing the symptoms (i.e. lack of interest in sex) is only a stopgap measure.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 11:47am
Is lack of interest in sex always a symptom IYO, or can it be the problem, in and of itself?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 02-23-2005 - 11:52am

Oh, I'm sure it *can* be ...

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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