SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
1037
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:54pm

I was just at the gym this morning and overheard a conversation between two women on treadmills who were discussing/debating as to whether married sahms were any more or less likely to have affairs than married wohms.

I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 10:39pm

The difference is this isn't some personal acheivement.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 10:44pm
Whoa, this got off track. What I meant was it would be stupid to be a sahm and have an affair if you are dependant on your husband. What if he decides to throw you out? At least have a job or leave first if you(general( are going to have an affair. Any man with any self respect would not tolerate a cheater..
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:01am

Goodness, everyone knows what you meant, it wasn't exactly novel. (I guess the upshot of what you are saying is also that it's stupid to have a WOH spouse if you'd rather they not stray.) BTW no one, even a sole breadwinner, has the ability to throw anyone out of their house absent a restraining order or the like.

"Any man with any self respect would not tolerate a cheater." Matter of individual circumstance. Just as it is for any woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:16am
Regardless of who earns the majority of the income around here, the only "hand" feeding anybody in this household is me. If it weren't for me, the "hand that feeds" DH would have a white plastic glove on it and a hamburger in a box in it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:41am

Sorry, all four births WERE painful. I'd go so far as to say extremely painful but that doesn't make me begrudge my dh saying "We just had a baby." He doesn't need to physically expel a baby from his body to be able to say that.

Why are you all of a sudden a stickler for proper word usage? I'd hate to imagine the language limitations you hold for mothers of adopted children. Are they allowed to call the child "my baby" even though technically it isn't their's biologically? Do you call children bastards and idiots when those terms factually apply?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 9:52am

<<>>

How is he "farther ahead financially" when you are no longer bringing home a paycheck but he is still paying the expenses that were associated with your former employment?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 9:58am

Yup. When you're debating someone who has such different values, it's hard to know where to start. How do you debate positions like, "Life is a grim struggle, love is a fallacy, and pursuing work you enjoy is selfish?"

When there's no common ground at all, then fruitful debate seems impossible.

Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 10:07am

So did someone who receives a bigger benefit cheque do more to earn theirs than you did to earn yours?

You may deserve the cheques. You didn't earn them. You'd receive them at this point, no matter what you did or didn't do. Bullying doctors and otherwise. Its what your husand did, and what society did to reward what he did, that earned the money. The cheques aren't a reward to you, from society, for your effort. They are a reward to society, from itself, given to itself in order to minimize the degree of destitution the society will need to deal with. Because destitution does not breed positive contribution to society.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 10:32am

You know so little about the law in the US that it's shameless. The legislative intent behind such laws concerning social security, say, or disability compensation is to foment family bonds and sticking by each other in difficult times, among other incentives. Kristi most certainly meets the legislative intent. She's earned the payments and her family is entitled to them.

Please post only when you know what the heck you're talking about. It's getting tiresome correcting your mistakes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 11:02am
Let it go. By the same token that the money provided by a wohp belongs to the sahm, the domestic service provided by the sahp belongs to the wohp. So. No more sahps complaining that the wohp doesn't do enough housework. And no more wohps complaining that the sahp doesn't bring in enough money (as if this is a fair arrangement where THAT would be considered a valid complaint).

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