SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
1037
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:54pm

I was just at the gym this morning and overheard a conversation between two women on treadmills who were discussing/debating as to whether married sahms were any more or less likely to have affairs than married wohms.

I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:03pm

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PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:03pm

I didn't say he gave birth. I'm talking about the words, "We just had a baby."

"Had" here connotes that a baby has come into our lives. It doesn't necessarily specify how it arrived. Notice I didn't write, "We just gave birth via a C-section," or "We were induced and delivered a baby vaginally and then we got a level four episiotomy."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:21pm

She didn't earn the social security - her husband did.

I'm not sure where the disability fits in. Perhaps she has earned that through her contributions made to an employee sponsored group plan, or a private plan, during previous employment. However if she is now enjoying benefits her husband earned in that way - then he earned it, not her. Whatever she did or didn't do, she'd be entitled to the same benefits.

Disability plans of any kind are not in place to "foment" family bonds and allow people to stick by each other in difficult times. They are there to "foment" family staying live and allowing people to keep food on their own tables.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:25pm
Because actuaries have lead the creditor to believe that working males with particular incomes are good for debt incurred by their spouses, up to some limit determined by the creditor. Pretty much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:29pm
I can't help but noticing that he was astute enough not try "We just gave birth! Aren't we exhausted. Move over honey, I need to lie down. That pain was excrutiating. Phew. We have earned myself a few days of rest here, thats for sure. Whose going to see to the other kids?."
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 12:46pm
Well I don't know about her. But my daughter now loves horses and wanted to know if there was such a job as being a riding teacher for disabled kids like she saw on tv and could she be that? I told her she could be that indeed. But if she chose that, she wouldn't make enough money to afford her own horse. And if she had two children like me, she'd have to live with them in a 3 bedroom apartment, probably in a neighbourhood with lots of noise and traffic and few parks and fields. And she wouldn't be able to pay for hockey or soccer or any sports for those kids, but they MIGHT be able to ride if the people she worked for were very kind, and would allow that for free. They'd never be able to afford to show, though, thats for sure. She looked kind of disappointed. So I went on and explained that if she really wanted to earn a living via horses what she really needed to consider was a business degree to go along with her - passion. Then she could plan to establish her own riding school, do well with the bussiness and realistically expect to have a couple of her own horses, have her kids ride and compete and participate in other things, live somewhere comfortable of her choice, and, since its her business...she can do whatever she wants along with running it ..if that included spending some time teaching handicapped kids - so be it. And of course, if it doesn't look like its going to work out, she can just live a perfectly happy life even if she's not persuing her passion 7x24, like the rest of the world, aided I'm sure by that degree she'll have.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 1:12pm

It is legally correct that my DH can endorse a check, made out only to me, and deposit it in our joint checking account???


I guess the bottom line is that earning income is to me a personal achievement, not a cooperative effort.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 1:14pm
What did your DH do to "have" the baby, other than provide the sperm?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 1:29pm

Writing "For deposit only" and the account number is considered endorsement. That's how xh and I always did it if we had a check in the other person's name and needed to deposit it.


Most banks, from my experience, do have a waiting period of some sort, but if you

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 1:31pm

Here's what mine did: He made sure I ate my veges every night. He cooked for me every night he was home. When I had to go in for tests because I was borderline toxima, he was right there with me. He took out the trash. He forbid me to do any deep cleaning and removed all toxic chemicals from the home so that I wouldn't accidently get any on my skin and thus absorb them. He forbade the use of disposible diapers, researched diaper companies and ordered and paid for the diaper service. He followed the video and learned how to change a diaper. He went shopping with me and helped purchase baby items. He put up with my pregnancy hormones. He helped me "count kicks" at night. And, he dealth with his issues of his own brutal father and worked to become the wonderful father that he is today.

As you can see, he did considerably more than donate some sperm. Surely your husband did just as much?

mom_writer

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