SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
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SAH/WOH--extramarital affairs
| Tue, 02-15-2005 - 12:54pm |
I was just at the gym this morning and overheard a conversation between two women on treadmills who were discussing/debating as to whether married sahms were any more or less likely to have affairs than married wohms.
I thought it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on this.

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"I highly resent a SAHM from trying to take credit for the actual work her WOHD is doing"
I don't think the real point is whether or not a SAHM should take credit for the work her dh is doing (obviously, she shoudn't). The REAL point is that you seem to be overly concerned with what this person is thinking. Do you take it as a personal affront that this "friend" thinks the way she does? Honestly, there isn't a single situation where someone I would call "a friend" would say or do something to make me "highly resentful". And if that's the case, and she is not really that close of a friend, why do you give a turkey what she or, for that matter, anyone else, thinks?
The Frau......
I know my dh would not even be able to consider the job he has just taken if I were not around/available to pick up the slack and generally make life easier for him. He wouldnt be able to do a lot of things. For that matter, *I* would not be able to do a lot of things if he were not around either!
I just cant see marriage as so many checks and balances. Whats his is mine, whats mine is his. Its a partnership.
And I know my dh finds my non-monetary contributions EXTREMELY valuable. He was a single dad for 6 years-he knows the other side of the coin and feels very appreciative that his life is no longer like that. To just be able to come home and not have to figure out what to make for dinner, lol, is seen by him as a HUGE bonus.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
And in addition to *most* of that stuff, my husband also was there with me in the delivery room, helping me get through each contraction. He cut the cord and bathed our babies for their first bath. And he has been there for each of them ever since. "WE" definately had our babies together.
Nick
"The REAL point is that you seem to be overly concerned with what this person is thinking."
That may be your point, but it wasn't my point.
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What you're implying is not remotely accurate. We have many assets, including an investment account held jointly. For convenience we also each have accounts solely in our own names, which, as you well know, doesn't mean one thing about who is or is not entitled to those funds. Neither does your having separate accounts mean you and your DH's money isn't all marital property, as you well know.
"It's not how I 'see' it, it's how it is (the law and marital agreement notwithstanding)." So what is this "it" that "it is" that outweighs what the law says?
My net pay was approximately $3000 per month. We spent $1000/mo on daycare costs, $100/wk for the housekeeper, I ate lunch out daily at $10 - $15 per day. I had a nasty shopping habit and shopped darned near every day. I have the two most spoiled children in town to prove that. Don't know if you remember that Christmas shopping thread or not, but I spent (over the course of shopping throughout the year) upwards of $2 or $3,000 on each child. In addition to my daily luncheons, dh also ate lunch out daily at a cost of $20 - $30 per day. We ate dinners out at least once per week, sometimes twice - not McDonalds, at a cost of $70 - $100 per dinner. I spent plenty on clothes per month. Dry cleaning, gas getting to and from work, parking, office expenses - you know social fund, coffee fund etc. We did the math. With the tax exemption dh will get by my not having an income, we are saving money by my not working.
Nick
Of course it is. You posted that you were "highly resentful"...not mildly disconcerted, not somewhat irritated, but "HIGHLY RESENTFUL"........
Perhaps you were exaggerating, I don't know. Perhaps you are just highly sensitive, I don't know. But using the phrase "highly resentful" implies that ARE overly concerned with what and how this person thinks. If this person were a mere acquaintance, you wouldn't really care, and it wouldn't even be an issue.
The Frau.....
I don't consider having a baby an "achievement." More like a miracle. Running a marathon is an achievement. Or becoming #1 sales person. Or getting promoted. Or losing 20 pounds. Those are all things of which one should be rightly proud.
mom_writer
What I meant was, what does it matter to the point of this thread whether or not I'm resentful of my friend?
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