SAH/WOH: It's always a choice

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
SAH/WOH: It's always a choice
329
Tue, 07-14-2009 - 3:11pm

Hi All,


I'm new to this board and totally fascinated by the WOH/SAH debate.

Penn Girl

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 9:41am
oh wait!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 10:09am
I could SAH if I wanted to. We could get by on DH's salary. SAH is not the holy grail to me. It's just not. Why do some people fail to see that SAH is not the ultimate goal for many women?

melissajune21.jpg picture by ambersspace


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 10:11am

Good point.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 12:49pm

This is one of the things about the single-moms-get-a-pass-because-they-have-to thing that I dont' understand or care for.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 1:03pm
ITA. As a former single mom who could SAH now, I choose to WOH. It's just best for my family.

melissajune21.jpg picture by ambersspace


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 3:08pm

As a former single mom who could SAH now, I choose to WOH. It's just best for my family.


Best for your family or best for you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 3:28pm

It is not that black and white. There are many reasons to decide to have a sahp or dual wohps. Some women and some men *want* to sah, so barring any really major things, they make it happen. Some men and some men *want* to woh and barring any really major things, make that happen too. Then there are the rest of us, those that could do either and be happy and do well (although we may favor one over the other if push came to shove).

There are a whole lot of factors that lead to a family to decide to have a sahp or dual wohps. Finances is the winning trump card. But, there are many other things that can impact a decision. The parent's AND the children's personalities, the local support network available to the family, the flexibility of each parent's job, the availability of affordable quality childcare that meets the needs of each child, the ability of the parent to re-enter their career path after a prolonged absence, the availability of part time work, the health of the parents, children and grandparents, the needs of each person in the family, the family's world view, .......

I am a sahm who would be happier as a woh, but the needs of my *entire* family trump that. It doesn't mean that I am unhappy being a sahp, just that woh fits me better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 3:57pm

Well...it's also best for the family for my dh to woh.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 4:00pm

"Best for your family or best for you? "

My family...It's best for my family for many reasons...
1.) It is setting the example that DH and I want to set for my daughter.
2.) DH and I agreed this is the sort of relationship we want to have and model for our family: both parents financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually supporting our family.
3.) WOH helps me to be a more well-rounded individual, which helps me to be a better parent and wife, which, naturally, helps my family.
4.) My income provides opportunities for DD to have experiences that DH and I feel she deserves.
5.) DD gets more social interaction at DC than she would if I were to SAH, which DH and I feel is something beneficial to her development.

The list goes on and on...

It's not just what's best FOR ME. Trust me, when my alarm went off at 6am this morning, the best thing for me would've been to sleep for 2 1/2 more hours. :-)

melissajune21.jpg picture by ambersspace


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Thu, 07-16-2009 - 4:12pm

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